Category Archives: Friends

January 30, 2013

Friendship Application – Test of True Friendship

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

friend

This is an official application for friendship. In order to be considered, the application must be completed in its entirety. This is also pending a satisfactory completion of background check and competency/intelligence test

This is a sure fire test to determine if that person you want in your life as a true friend is worthy of you.

Name (Yours please) __________________________________
Number of current friends (real life)  ____________________________
Number of Facebook friends ___________________________

Differential:  If Facebook friends to real friends is more than a 4 to 1 ratio, bad sign!

Do you smoke? ______
How often to you drink (Days a week) _________
How many minutes a month do you average on your mobile? __________
How many texts a month do you average on your mobile? ____________

When you are at the dinner table are you eyes on:

Television with the game on ______
Your phone on the table ______
Your friends/date ______
(Don’t lie, I will know)

When a friend calls you do you:

Call back when you can _______
Text them and say “whats up?” _______
Ignore it and call back when you are bored _______

How often to you Facebook stalk?

1 – 2 Times a week _________
3 – 5 Times a week _________
6 – 10 Times a week _________
11+ _________

Do you make plans ahead or do you wait until the last minute and if you have nothing to do, you call all your friends to hang out? _____________

When you make a plan, what is the percentage of time you will meet your commitment? _________

Do you typically call your friends or wait for them to call you?  ______________

What is your preferred method of communicating to your friends:

  • In person                 _______
  • Text                            _______
  • Talking on phone  _______
  • Skype                         _______
  • Walkie Talkie          _______
  • Other                         _______

What something important happens in your life, how do you tell your friends:

  • Group Text                                 ___________
  • Facebook Announcement   ___________
  • Call them                                    ___________
  • Individual Text                       ___________
  • Write a blog                              ___________
  • Call a meeting                          ___________

Do you check in everywhere you go?  _______

Do you take pictures everywhere you go and upload on Facebook or Google+?  _______

Can you go an entire day without your phone?  _______

Rank these things in order of importance in your life:

  • Car                         ____________
  • Phone                   ____________
  • Family                  ____________
  • Friends                ____________
  • Money                 ____________
  • Job                        ____________
  • Alcohol/Drugs ____________
  • Laptop/Tablet ____________
  • Clothes/Shoes ____________

A friend is taken to the hospital do you:

  • Drop everything and go immediately to see them     ________________
  • Text them and see if they are ok                                        ________________
  • Call them or a family member to check in                     ________________
  • Assume they are ok and go on with your life               ________________
  • Wait for someone to update you                                      ________________
  • Make a plan to see them later                                            ________________

A friend needs a shoulder to cry on, do you:

  • Ignore it because you hate dealing with bad news and emotions            _________________
  • Offer to be there for them as long as they need you                                       _________________
  • Promise to be there but something always comes up                                   _________________
  • Try to get another friend to take your place                                                     _________________

If a friend gives you a gift, do you:

  • Refuse because you don’t want to buy them one            ______________
  • Refuse because you are modest                                            ______________
  • Accept graciously                                                                       ______________

It is your friends birthday, you:

  • Take the lead in planning                                                                        ________________
  • Hope someone else takes the lead and wait to be invited         ________________
  • Hope nothing happens because you hate buying gifts               ________________
  • Accept that a wall update happy birthday is enough                  ________________

2 comments | posted in application, Facebook, Friends, Friendship, test

November 21, 2012

A Letter of Thanks

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

In a day and age where all thoughts, emotions and testimonials can be summed up into a text, it becomes ever so important to express my deep and warm gratitude to those individuals with the imagination, admiration and love to give of themselves each and every day.

As I reflect on the last year, it has been filled with personal tragedy and struggle. Nights of unanswered questions, lives lost well before their time and obstructions in the path of life.

From tears heard across another continent, to new lives being welcomed into the world, to parents watching their children laid to rest, to disaster ripping families from their homes; I have spent many a long quiet evening in a meditative state trying to piece this puzzle of life together.

Each time, I draw the same conclusion: It is in the outstretched arms of those that have continuously put others ahead of themselves, who have greeted every challenge with passion and hope and been that shoulder to lean on that I need to personally thank. Not due to a holiday or an end of the year need to repent, but because they are the foundation of this wall that provides me shelter from the storm and fuels my drive.

I thank you

  • I thank you for being patient with me when I had to make many sacrifices to be by the bedside of a dying friend.
  • I thank you for emotionally being by my side and relying on me even though an ocean separated us
  • I thank you for allowing me to bear witness to your life changing events
  • To those that called, emailed or sent a picture or cute message at the most opportune time when I really needed it, I am eternally grateful
  • I am not perfect, a scholar or always a gentleman.  I have flaws and for the few that understand and accept me, words do not say enough about how important you are in my life
  • Some have been unconditionally supportive to me through my writing, my vision on life, my creative ups and downs and for that I bow to you
  • To you, the one that finds inspiration in my writing and acts upon it with a closer hug, a warm message of love, a charitable act or seeing life with a little more happiness, you are my reason for living

Sometimes, I lie out on the beach or an open field gazing upon the stars vast in the sky that reach infinitely through the cosmos. Right at the moment it begins to sink in how small we are in the scheme of the universe, memories rush through my head.  Good refreshing memories that put a smile on my face.  They are visual images of times I have spent with you; all of you.  Each person that is important in my life has an equal piece of my heart and as you have and continue to shape who I am, I hope my actions and my words help you understand how you have given me all a man could ask for.

To my family and friends, your love continues to give me strength and energy.  Thank you.

1 comment | posted in Family, Friends, gratitude, Love, thank you, Thanksgiving

June 27, 2012

Time for a Rebirth (Leave your footprints on life)

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World was billed as an apocolyptic comedy but after all the laughs and surrealism about a total global demise it was a romance about two people that saved each other and found true unconditional love. Melancholia, a global apocolyptic film from 2011 was a tragedy that celebrated family and the love they shared. Earlier tonight, it was confirmed that Nora Ephron passed away at 71. A writer, essayist and comedic romantic that brought us When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. One theme carried her throughout her illustrious career and that was the power of love and laughter.

Losing a friend, especially at such a young age puts your life in perspective but defining her life and her legacy has had a much more powerful message. Spending countless hours and putting my own life on hope to seek out the true wisdom Michelle had to share and releasing the love we all shared for her each and every day of the final months of her life brought me once again to a better place. Through spiriality, happiness, comfort and love, Michelle fought cancer the way she lived life as a free spirit that was strong and embraced the ones she loved.

Life is about a series of moments both good and bad. Some pierce while others graze the skin, but each one of these markers in life feeds us food for thought and helps shape the next direction we choose. I think we need to see each day as a rebirth. It is an opportunity to begin a new journey and build off the ones from the past. Each day of life is a gift. You don’t have to see children dying of tragic diseases or infants that die shortly after birth to know how lucky we are to be in this moment, breathing, living, sharing and feeling.

I just completed a remarkable trip with my father that unfortunately began with seeking and gaining closure with Michelle. It was from her mother’s unspoken urging that I spoke for a few moments to her family and friends at the funeral home but one I would not ever regret. As I stood there, not knowing what to say and even feeling like the outsider looking in, the words started to flow. Not because I am a word smith but because the love we gave to her and the love she gave back ten times over gave me the foresight to share stories, personal feelings and lessons she wants us to carry all our days.

While on a trip to Charlotte a while back, I asked my friend Marcus if she could keep Jack and Lola at his house in Rock Hill with his one year old daughter. Marcus being the amazing friend he is of course said yes and Bethany instantly fell in love having a dog on each side of her on the couch. When I broke the news of Michelle’s diagnosis to him I remember so vividly what he said: “It is amazing how someone you only met once could have such an impact on you”. I cannot think of a better way to describe Michelle. Whether you loved her to death or thought she was crazy, she made an impact.

So many of us use sarcasm to hide our feelings or make fun of others we are jealous of. We stereotype and prejudge and tend to avoid the one thing that in the end brings us all together: love. What is the fear of love? I can spend volumes trying to interpret that last comment, but I would rather spend it telling the truly important people in my life how much I care about them and instead of waiting to get old and die, start living.

After leaving Ohio, we went to Toronto, Mississagua and Niagara Falls and there were moments I thought about her lifeless body but most of the time I thought about Michelle and smiled. Each summer along with the many other times I spend with my dad, we take a father/son trip north. We have our moments of disagreement, but always the trips with him are memorable.

I too sometimes hide behind my thoughts and words, but I try very hard to make each day unique, memorable and full of as much love as possible.

When you wake up in the morning, think about who is important, tell them and find a way to make each day a personal triumph full of happiness and laughter. At the end of the day, those are the memories that stick.

Leave a comment | posted in Family, Friends, Happiness, Love, Memories, Moments

March 10, 2012

Cancer can be beautiful – Michelle’s Story (Donations accepted to assist)

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

There are a few truly dramatic moments in our lives. Those moments when every facet of your soul is ripped out of your body, stomped on and then left to die. It is those moments when your body and mind going into free fall and you lose all rational control. On Monday, I was overtaken by the news that a close friend had been diagnosed with cancerous tumors in her brain and spine that had progressed to stage four.

After experiencing some dizziness and double vision, she was taken to the emergency room and since then the last ten days have been an emotionally and physically draining period for Michelle, her family and friends.

This is something none of us ever wish to go through in our lives, but all to often we do. Personally, I have felt an emptiness in my stomach all week long, yet I cannot even come close to imagining the thoughts and feelings running through Michelle’s head. Even with every ounce of my being there for her, I don’t feel like it is enough.

Life is about trials and it is the ability to overcome that makes us stronger, but in times like this you even question that belief.

Thursday evening, I was asked to do a very important symbolic gesture knowing very well, this was the final act to realization of what the next six months to a year will be like during this fight. I was aksed to shave Michelle’s hair off. I won’t lie, I hesitated. I hesitated and stalled for quite some time and she evne gave me an out. I knew I had to do it. Not because she asked and I can’t say no, but because she was putting all her faith in me.

In the end, with all her long red hair on the ground, she was beautiful. It worked. She smiled and seeing her whole face, you could see the hope in her eyes. Was it sad? Yes. Was it hopeful? Yes. Was it a rollercoaster of unadulterated emotion? Oh yes!

What is so remarkable about Michelle is that she still continues to think about everyone else around her. Each night this week she has sent me home to sleep seeing the sleepiness in my eyes and my constant yawning. She is also the mother to three beautiful dogs, all of which were rescue dogs. Her heart may actually be too large for her body. The thought of being cuddled on the couch with her dogs has gotten her through this week.

As we speak, doctors are meeting with her to discuss every possible option. Early indication is five days of radiation and chemo treatments for possibly six months to a year. It is going to be a difficult road filled with pain, sickness, crying and a whole lot of love.

I will be there for her as well as every life she has touched in the past.

It is rare in life that you meet someone that defines unconditional goodness. A person that makes you believe in a better tomorrow. Michelle is one of those people. She is pure and unconditional. Her selfless behavior and charitable personality is infectious. If anyone can beat this, she is my vote for the best option.

This is something personal that I am doing to help. With the bills mounting, I would love to provide her with some financial comfort.

If anyone would like to donate to her medical bills, please send a check made out to Michelle Schafer to:

Mark A. Leon
100 Morris Street, A
Charleston, SC 29403

Or if you would like to use paypal email me the amount and I will send an invoice request (markalex222@gmail.com)

Thank you.

Leave a comment | posted in brain cancer, Cancer, Family, Friends, Survivor

August 20, 2011

Dissed by your first crush and other dramatic tales of a class reunion…

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

The scene was set, High School Class Reunion.

Given the timing of the event, I was unfortunately out of town and was not sure I would return in time for the festivities. The build up of pressure would not hit heightened levels until much closer to the end of the evening. In preparation of the possibility of not making the event at all, I took a few preliminary precautions to show my support and mark my place in the folklore of Hopatcong High. First, with the knowledge of a time capsule, I decided to donate a copy of my newest book. Given that I am a writer, I hoped for a little inspiration to write a poem about the reunion with a large matting so it can be signed by all attending and then buried.

The third was a little trickier. Like most high schools, tradition is a big part of its history and one of the traditional acts, that was typically reserved for the crazy zany popular crowd was the spray painting of the infamous road that lay on the side of a grassy hill just behind the high school. In order to accomplish this, I had to sneak onto school property in the middle of the night with several cans of spray paint and a clever story if I were to get caught. My hometown is a bit on the small side so the chance of a cop drive by was pretty high. As I walked the hill, of course a car drives around the back of the school. Like any good adult performing an act of a fifteen year old, I dropped the bag of paint and lay still on the grass. Fortunately, the car would pass and I still do not know if it was a police car.

I moved quickly and started on the coat of white. As I waited for it to dry, I hid behind a bush and waited for what seemed like an hour but only amounted to ten minutes. Then I used the least amount of artistic ability to add the words the would forever make me a legend or at least Saturday night.

Success!!!! The next morning we took a drive over to document my act of vandalism. I waited until the evening before the reunion and then boom right on Facebook for the class to see. Now, whether I made the event of not, my presence was known and I wouldn’t have to worry about seeing my old classmates.

Little set back in my master plan. I made it home in time with about an hour and a half to go in the reunion so I had to attend. Quickly, I called everyone I knew trying to figure out why we go to class reunions. What I learned was this, apparently, it means more to women than men when it comes to appearance, but ultimately, it is just a night to remember old friends and share stories of each other’s lives. Wish I knew that prior to going. After an hour at the reception hall and several hours at the bar until 2:30 AM, I walked away with a really good feeling.

It seemed fitting that the final song of the evening at the hall was “Never Say Goodbye” Being a Jersey boy and a Bon Jovi song about high school and love gained and lost, it was a perfect way to say goodbye and then debate on which hole in the wall bar to go to.

I did go into the evening with a bit of an ulterior motive. I was going to finally confess to my first crush that she, along with “Love Comes Walking In” by Van Halen got me through most of my nine and ten year old years. She did leave after eighth grade so I didn’t expect her to remember too much about me, but I felt it would have been sweet to tell her that she was in fact my first crush. As several of us stood outside the reception hall, she introduced herself to me as if she never knew I existed. Crushed! Devastated! Ego Shot! Ok, I am totally adding dramatic effect for sake of the story, but for a brief moment, almost 4 seconds, I was upset.

The rest of the evening and ensuing evenings through the magic of Facebook was a series of very nice comments, re-connections and new connections.

Overall, the night was not about popularity, social status or even number of kids. It was a night of past, present and future coming together to remember where we all came from.

To Hopatcong High School Class of ’91. Thank you for the new memories. Go Chiefs!!!

1 comment | posted in Class Reunion, Friends, High School, Hopatcong, Memories

August 4, 2011

Home is where the heart is….

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

“There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all”

In My Life – The Beatles

As I drove through the streets of Minneapolis and St. Paul passing the places that reminded me of a comfortable feeling a long time ago when I called this home, a sense of nostalgia grew inside of me. Some of the places have remained, while others are victims to the recession. Memories raced back as I began to recall all of the life altering events that took place during my residence and all the friends that came and went, but more importantly the ones that stayed with me.

I soon arrived with dinner for Sonni, Mom and baby. Three generations together in one room. Pat didn’t hesitate to remind me that this was my second family and I need not wait so long to return. I feel as though she slipped that in more than once during the evening and the hug goodbye. I don’t know if I will see them before I fly home Saturday to see family number one. To add an exclamation point to this final visit to the home of Sonni and Sam, my framed poem for Tino was resting on the wall in the entrance to his room. My words to Tino will always be in sight and watching over him at night.

Maybe it has been the time away or the relaxing sense of seclusion I have in Charleston, but the depth of feelings that have reared during this trip seem intensified more than the last. I could dive into an analysis factoring in the birth of a child, old friends who have taken new steps in their lives and some that have remained in their current bubble. One thing remains clear, the ability to slip back into that comfort zone remains.

Tino was born into a wonderful circle of family and friends and no matter what course of life he chooses, he will always be surrounded by support. A few days prior to the birth, I went to the cemetery to see Janet Hegg, Sonni’s Grandmother who passed away in 1997. I found myself talking to her and telling her about the newest member of the family. It was somewhat comforting given that I never met her. It may be the single moment I once again realized I was part of this family.

In a few days, I will see my family. What a thought: I have the chance to spend a month with two different families. How many have the opportunity to say that.

Seven weeks is summed up in a computer bag and a gym bag. Some would find that alarming, but not me. It doesn’t matter what is in the bag, because it is never about the material value I carry with me each day. It is about the meals, the conversations, the hugs, the gifts, the quiet moments during a sunset and the laughter from shared memories that fills my bag up with each visit.

Home not only is where the heart is but where people let you inside their hearts. Thank you to my first and second families for reminding me how important these relationships are in my life.

1 comment | posted in Birth, Family, Friends, Heart, Home, Memories, Minnesota, Nostalgia, Parents, St. Paul, Visits

July 23, 2011

Baby Alert 2011: Operation Baby Drop

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

For those of you keeping tabs on the baby alert, we are still awaiting the arrival of the newest edition to Planet Earth and the 12,418th resident of Hugo, Minnesota.

Mommy and Daddy are spirited, energized (at least as energized as a nine month expecting mother can be) and gitty as a bubble bee on a spring day. Just two days away from the expected day of arrival and business as usual.

Last evening, I joined three close friends who have known each other since high school over an adult dinner that consisted of great food, conversation, diet coke, coffee and not a drop of alcohol to be found. This was quite an instantaneous reminder of maturity as I gazed at the table. What a refreshing evening to share memories with friends who graciously invited me into their circle many years ago and have not looked back.

Almost three years since the last time this group was able to congregate in a similar setting, we slipped back immediately into our comfort zones. As we sat there, talked about high school, vacations, moments of support and the future, it was comforting and nervous to know that within days, all of our lives will change. For some in a small way and for others, a new stage in life from friend, daughter, and wife to Mother.

Through all the many thoughts that ran through our respective heads, it was a very relaxing dinner with enough laughter to cover us for a long time to come.

We all need moments with our closest friends to remind us how important they are even if our interaction has been limited due to life paths we have chosen.

Typically for a nine month pregnant woman, that would be a full Friday evening, but not for this mother to be. We migrated to a small dive bar in South St. Paul for a little blues jam led by the amazing guitar riffs of the grandfather to be. Seeing his daughter smile and clap as her father plays the tunes that have inspired him to perfect his singing and guitar playing skills was an inspirational tribute to family. As we listened and got a shout out for both mom and grand dad, we finally made our way into the night to return home and wait for the newborn to say “Ok, here I come.” When you think of a typical Friday night of dancing, bars, and haplessly juvenile behavior, I was honored to take in the image of three generations sharing in a family moment with the backdrop of blues and rock in the background.

Another sunrise has come and we continue to wait, living our lives as we normally would, but ready for that phone call or text that will bring us all together once again in the comfort of a hospital and leaving with one more person to add to the dinner table.

More to come….

Leave a comment | posted in Baby, Blues, Friends, Memories, Minnesota, Mother, music, Newborn, Uncategorized

July 4, 2011

Goodbye World…A Suicide Note to Everyone

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

There is no reason to go on with life.

We transition from innocence in youth to a world overrun by fear and tragedy.
We embrace the media’s attempt to exploit misery and death to numb the pain we feel for our own lives.

Throughout life, we are tossed cliche after cliche dictating how “life is hard”, “it helps us grow stronger”, “we have to suffer to find greater success” but why do we have to suffer to find happiness? After all, we have but one life and a short time period to live it. Even during that duration, we all run the risk of disease, disability, and with only a brief moment in time, the risk of instantaneous death. That is too much for any intelligent person to bear. We are cursed and blessed all at the moment of creation. We are born into the most intelligent species with intellect and emotion rolled into our developing brain.

Is this a curse because as we learn and grow, we question life, death, religion and faith in a higher power? Mortality is a wonderful and mysterious idea. It blesses us with the gift of life showering us with beauty, love, tranquility and peace but also gives the power to destroy and corrupts us with temptation, greed, gluttony and other sinful acts of emotional and physical aggression.

We find ourselves back at the center of a neutral debate.

Often when put on the brink of determining life or death, it is an action that prompts this internal debate. It can be losing a loved one, experiencing a catastrophic event, learning of an illness, or finding yourself at a low point in your life. It is then that simplicity rears its head and provides an easy way out. Whether there is an afterlife or not, it is the easy solution. For me…only.

The curse of intellect is that all of us bear the pain of the death of others while the soul less body lay at peace while we all morn. That doesn’t seem fair, so in a way, suicide is a very selfish solution.

That certainly adds another factor to this decision. Do I understand the reprecussions this will have on others who are a part of my life, or do I just not care given that I will be void of life and all the emotional pain attached to it.

In fairness to myself and others, have I looked at all the other possibilities?

Of course not, since life is an unpredictable act of chance. We are given certain pawns (money, social status, jobs, friends, family) that helps shape our decisions, but clearly an impossibility to deny the possibility of life improving as we move toward the future.

There we go, over-thinking a life altering decision. Just as I consciously talked about the human mind, I am verbally questioning the entire thought of suicide. In a jury, a decision must be unanimous, why shouldn’t be use that calculated logic toward a decision like this? That is an excellent thought, but the difference between a jury and a suicide is that I determine my future and the action I will take to achieve that end. Maybe I need to talk this through to people I trust so that all options are weighed. Clearly, anyone that cares about me will say “don’t kill yourself”. Hopefully, all will. That certainly cannot help but it does open the door of debate.

I have no intention of committing suicide, nor has the thought even breached my mind, but I like millions throughout the world suffer from depression, loneliness, sorrow, poverty, illness and feelings of isolation. The truth is, we need that in our lives. The complexity of the human mind is developed by the range of emotions that create a melting pot. It is this melting pot that creates the unconscious feelings we address every day. Whether it is our dreams, love at first site, deep sorrow for a loss, exhilaration from winning a race, the joy of seeing a loved one who was gone for a long time, or the peace you find in a sunset over the ocean blue, we need all of the collective energy of our thoughts to give us the pure euphoria that is life.

This letter is not reaching out to just those that have thought about the easy way out, but to those that may think about it in the future. In a way, this is not an attempt to talk you out of it, but to bring awareness to the completeness of such a decision. When you think about the gift of life, create a mental bag and put everything in it that is truly important to you. Include the good and bad because without bad, you wouldn’t know good. You will be surprised how heavy that bag is.

When you think there is such a burden on you that you cannot move forward, understand that the burden is everything that encompasses your life, darkness, light, loneliness, together, sadness and happiness.

Think twice….

12 comments | posted in Death, depression, Family, Friends, Life, Loneliness, Love, suicide

August 31, 2010

What is in your life bag? (An evaluation of your life balance)

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

This is a personal evaluation of your life.

As you look at your career, family, social life, health and fitness, are you in a place you want to be?

We are in unprecedented times of change and challenge. Now is the time to look closely at our lives, dissect them and determine if we are on the correct path. Let this tool serve as a guide to your personal life balance.

Link to presentation:

What is in your life bag?

1 comment | posted in Change, Energy, Friends, Health & Wellness, Life balance

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,323 other followers