“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
– Havelock Ellis
Have you looked deep into someone’s eyes and saw right to their soul? The moment when you relinquish the hold you have on your heart and let it escape to the protective custody of another. It is the ultimate risk of putting you life in someone else’s hand that is the ultimate happiness and pain all wrapped in one.
Why would we leave the comfort of our inner skin to enter into an unknown abyss with the promise or perfection or the torture of a thousand needles penetrating your skin and reminding you of the chance you took; the chance that brought you down?
Because it is worth it! Death is the most studied, analyzed, interpreted, fear and yearned for entity we ever face and it is sitting on a pedestal of blackness defying gravity and reality. It is that moment when for all eternity, our being changes. What we become is not for us to judge, nor is it science, nor is it faith. It is a moment of eternal redemption. Some believe life is a test; a test of the strength of our spirit. From the moment of conscious thought to the final breath, we are faced with the opportunity to choose a path. Destiny is not written in the stars but the words we chose, the actions we face and the path we walk on. We are the gift of creation and the product of death. We have the rarest of gifts bestowed on the truest of being and that is the free will to live.
I fell hard twice. Many years have passed since the last moment I lay eyes on the two women whom I still compare against all others. Was there a common factor that drained my soul and left a deep embedded emptiness? No, there wasn’t. That is the mystery of love that no book, magazine or therapist can answer. It is that feeling you have when you close your eyes and see a slide show in your mind of every moment you spent together, every touch of each other’s skin, every gaze into their eyes and every emotion magnified by a thousand percent.
We so often read books or articles trying to explain love, that we fail to realize there is no right or wrong and in most cases feelings and emotions do not have a definition. Without definition, there is no meaning and explanation. We enter love as a blank canvas, but are equipped with the paint and brushes to make an artistic masterpiece.
Love is a promise. Not of eternal partnership, but one of committing mind, body and soul to someone that pumps life into you, makes you believe in something bigger than yourself, gives you the inspiration to achieve greatness and is always there with a hug and a moment of comfort. It is that moment when you want to make that promise, that you know your heart found it’s match.
Love is not something that you grow into nor is it earned. It finds you like a bullet finds its victim. With a force of a hundred horses, it penetrates your skin and tears letting blood flow out of you, making you vulnerable and weak. In a way, when love finds you, you become a victim to the most amazing roller coaster ride of your life.
If you haven’t taken the ultimate risk, there is no reason to wait…
Don’t seek out a catalyst or life changing event to give you a reason.
Take your state of mind and body and if you find someone that shares that mutual thrust of emotion, dive into the deep end and let yourself drown. If it is right, you will be rescued.
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” —–Judy Garland