First voice in the morning; last at night
The energy that lights my candle
Whispers of friendship have blossomed into endearing love
But wait, time can destroy this union of destiny
It is about you now; it has to be for you are the flame that lights the sun
The world has shrunk to a small space reserved for you and I
Life is a journey traveled alone until the soul runs weary, rests on a stone and relies on the comfort of another to continue the path
Let’s just be
You and me
Alone, together for all eternity
I want to bleed your love
Did I say I love you?
I am a fool because I have not said it enough
I am a jester because I exposed my weakness with my words
My fear is your strength
You hold me in your arms with the power of a thousand armies
Your sword pierces my will to live; your words conquer this momentary bliss
Hold me til I die and then hold me a little longer
My paranoia is that someday I will fleet away to a pond of loneliness
The water will quench my thirst, but the drought of your absence will send me to this grave
I’m a lucky man
For just one moment I found you
Locked in your eyes I found the answers to questions too distant to reach
You are the shelter that will save me from this storm
With this power you can release me and destroy me
To my knees I go and wait…
I have fallen into this trance as the world is being pulled into a gravitational free fall
Showered in a cleaning pool of heavens purity
As Adam gave his body to Eve, we are one
A spiritual bond together in shackles but free as the bird escaping the mist of a perfect storm
Let me go as the Earth crumbles before us but don’t ever close your eyes to my needs
The end is a metaphor as birth is a death sentence we are all entitled to
It is earned with the gift of original sin
See through me
Can you see this beating heart?
It is fragile and inviting
It is the cornerstone of a passion wrapped in a fragile glass house
Home is full of wonder
It is comforted by a rainbow of affection
It warms the cold air and wishes away apathy
In the purgatory of life, you are the meaning I have searched for
You are my home
You write our names in the clouds
High above the Earth’s surface
You are my Superman as your love defies gravity
You hold me under the span of your wings and guide me to the most beautiful visions of the world
To live with the birds
To soar to new heights
To find a prince where sky and ground meet
The rivers flow softer
The air is sweeter
The mystery is this power you possess over my reckless emotions
I open my eyes to a dream that feels love and pain
A dream that is translated by Zen prophets living in solitude on the pinnacle of the roof of mankind
I can touch you with this bare hand
I can feel the air you breathe sprinkle my veins with the nectar of a thousand fruits
It is a legendary tale told by a lonesome storyteller traveling through the night to bring wonder to the masses
Each line breeds a wit of curiosity
Each chapter a new level of our love
You are my Superman
Hero to the worn and lost
Guiding force in a wind of desperation
You are mine
A shadow that lurks parallel to my search for truth
A warmth that scares away the demons of doubt
This princess is awake from the spell and you are my Superman
It is a passion that never fades
A pursuit of perfection that is a shadow following in the thick night air
Hiding in corners
Whispering in alleys
Penetrating your soul with the deepest of desires
Close your eyes to reveal the colors of this manifestation
A rainbow of possibility lusting away all thoughts of innocence
It is a betrayal of the heart when no crime has been committed
Deeper into the trenches of the heart
Bitten by life’s sin
No blood loss only a loss of humanity
Adolescence lost
Wanton desire woken by the wolfs of sensuality
Senses numbed by the thirst of violation
Chastity broken by lewd sexuality
Demons with pitchforks poking and prodding at you
You run into the fog but swept into a bed of sexual rage
Tied down by thoughts so wicked, so wrought with damnation
Fiery motives take over
Action no longer resemble rational behavior
It is in you now
This thing
This being
This animal
The ravage is free to fly
Civility is buried in a tomb of white roses
If heaven can be anywhere, why not here
If the gates of eternal rest are a utopia formulated by faith and belief, why not here
A juxtaposition looking at heaven and earth side by side
How can we fear death if faith has led us to believe in this perfect infinite paradise of rest and redemption?
In a world saturated in laughter and love, we have found a place to call home
Born, adopted and discovered, we are surrounded by a circle of devotion, yet we continue to be infatuated by a journey we fight so hard to stop
We are on a collision course to inconclusiveness
A puzzle of unpredictability leaving behind a world of validity
Looking back we hold on tightly to the memories that have fortified our foundation
It was the mistakes that strengthened our will; the passion that made us feel; the triumphs that leaped us to the next level
How do you define heaven?
Why not here?
We live in a world created by the ruler of universe made up of beings formed by his hands
If this is the perfect habitation, why not here?
Birth is the beginning of the demise to the end
Philosophy will analyze; religion with set forth credence; love will soothe the unease but as the final moments arrive, ask yourself not are you ready, but why not here?
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World was billed as an apocolyptic comedy but after all the laughs and surrealism about a total global demise it was a romance about two people that saved each other and found true unconditional love. Melancholia, a global apocolyptic film from 2011 was a tragedy that celebrated family and the love they shared. Earlier tonight, it was confirmed that Nora Ephron passed away at 71. A writer, essayist and comedic romantic that brought us When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. One theme carried her throughout her illustrious career and that was the power of love and laughter.
Losing a friend, especially at such a young age puts your life in perspective but defining her life and her legacy has had a much more powerful message. Spending countless hours and putting my own life on hope to seek out the true wisdom Michelle had to share and releasing the love we all shared for her each and every day of the final months of her life brought me once again to a better place. Through spiriality, happiness, comfort and love, Michelle fought cancer the way she lived life as a free spirit that was strong and embraced the ones she loved.
Life is about a series of moments both good and bad. Some pierce while others graze the skin, but each one of these markers in life feeds us food for thought and helps shape the next direction we choose. I think we need to see each day as a rebirth. It is an opportunity to begin a new journey and build off the ones from the past. Each day of life is a gift. You don’t have to see children dying of tragic diseases or infants that die shortly after birth to know how lucky we are to be in this moment, breathing, living, sharing and feeling.
I just completed a remarkable trip with my father that unfortunately began with seeking and gaining closure with Michelle. It was from her mother’s unspoken urging that I spoke for a few moments to her family and friends at the funeral home but one I would not ever regret. As I stood there, not knowing what to say and even feeling like the outsider looking in, the words started to flow. Not because I am a word smith but because the love we gave to her and the love she gave back ten times over gave me the foresight to share stories, personal feelings and lessons she wants us to carry all our days.
While on a trip to Charlotte a while back, I asked my friend Marcus if she could keep Jack and Lola at his house in Rock Hill with his one year old daughter. Marcus being the amazing friend he is of course said yes and Bethany instantly fell in love having a dog on each side of her on the couch. When I broke the news of Michelle’s diagnosis to him I remember so vividly what he said: “It is amazing how someone you only met once could have such an impact on you”. I cannot think of a better way to describe Michelle. Whether you loved her to death or thought she was crazy, she made an impact.
So many of us use sarcasm to hide our feelings or make fun of others we are jealous of. We stereotype and prejudge and tend to avoid the one thing that in the end brings us all together: love. What is the fear of love? I can spend volumes trying to interpret that last comment, but I would rather spend it telling the truly important people in my life how much I care about them and instead of waiting to get old and die, start living.
After leaving Ohio, we went to Toronto, Mississagua and Niagara Falls and there were moments I thought about her lifeless body but most of the time I thought about Michelle and smiled. Each summer along with the many other times I spend with my dad, we take a father/son trip north. We have our moments of disagreement, but always the trips with him are memorable.
I too sometimes hide behind my thoughts and words, but I try very hard to make each day unique, memorable and full of as much love as possible.
When you wake up in the morning, think about who is important, tell them and find a way to make each day a personal triumph full of happiness and laughter. At the end of the day, those are the memories that stick.
You are tattooed in my heart
The ink bleeds through my veins
You are my eternal love
The music that is harmonized by birds
The graffiti that fills the concrete jungle that is so focused on black and white
The inspiration not written in words; the hero not spoken about in speeches
You are my eternal love
Like a finely woven stitching that tapers off and returns to a perfect pattern of love and harmony
It is in you peace is a reality
It is in you I can once again dream
It is in you I find truth hidden under all the lies
Void of fear, you only seek solace in the tears of my loneliness
Comfort is waiting in your arms and whispered in the presence of angels
You are my eternal love
Now as I rest, my dreams and reality become one
My eyes will open soon to an angel by my side
A shower of illumination is the evidence of your presence walking toward me and easing all the pain
For most, the focus today is on fathers as well it should be, but for me, it is a time of reflection, confusion, sadness and peace.
After being diagnosed with Stage four cancer in late February, the courageous battle came to an end. With a few final breaths just after one in the morning, Michelle left this world with what we hope was a sense of closure and peace.
How rapidly the progression of the disease took over her senses. What was once a strong powerful woman with conviction and love was reduced to a withering child who was wrought with pain and suffering.
How do those she left behind deal with the rash of feelings? The only possible silver lining we can take from this is that her pain is gone. It is a small consolation to a life lost so young. Just one month past her birthday, Michelle is gone. We knew the clock was ticking and comforted her day and night for the last several months, but until that phone call comes in the early hours of the morning, you can not even comprehend the feelings that will rush through your body.
Each night at home or the hospital, after countless hours, our last words to each other were “I Love You”. Would it be the last time, we cannot tell but it was the love that kept us all together during this difficult time. I remember for many years, I would always say those words to my mother when I last spoke to her for the day. I didn’t sense anything would happen to her, but I knew, if her time on earth would end, I could feel a sense of comfort knowing those were the last words I said to her.
As I said my final goodbye last Monday, with the same words I said each and every night along with a kiss on the cheek, I knew I gave her all the time and will I had during her final months. It was a moment wrapped in bittersweet fear, anger, love and family. I wasn’t blood by any means but talking to her mother, father, brother and friends, we became a family.
Last night, just hours before hearing the news, I sent a message to her mother just letting her know I was thinking of all of them. She called back and we spoke for half and hour. In hindsight, it was ironic that we found each other just moments before the passing.
Today has been marked by visits and calls sharing the news and letting this all sink in.
Life will continue and the sun will rise once again tomorrow, but with one less person that we love and adore by our sides.
Today is and will continue to be very difficult as I will spend most of it remembering a remarkable person. Michelle was a healer. She always looked at ways to make the world better. If she saw someone struggling or in need of assistance she would step in. As long as I knew her, she did nothing but give of herself. She was an incredible mother to her dogs and cat. I once said, if she had the space to adopt every stray dog in the state she would. Believe me, she would. She fought against injustice and believed in the simple pleasures of friends, family and loved ones. She was remarkable in her outlook on life. She didn’t judge, she smiled. Right until the end, her focus was on everyone around her.
A solidly independent woman who took care of herself and was a fighter. She had a passion for arts and crafts and planned to buy land so her animals could roam and be free to run. She loved Carole King, Ellen and most of all Jack, her beloved dog that never left her side. When she was in pain, he was in pain. When she was happy, he was happy. It was a relationship that was rare and pure.
She will be so sorely missed….
Thank you Michelle for being a part of my life.
When the winter comes
When it is cold and dark
When there is no one to turn to
When the emptiness fills your heart with an shallow pool of sorrow
When there is no sign of light
Keep me in your heart
Remember me
Not as I am now, but as I was when you smiled
Keep me
Hold me
Cherish me
Forever I am by your side
My last breath is gone but I can feel you
The disease my have shut down my senses but it did not win
I have left you for a place I cannot understand
It is a world not comprehended by words, thoughts, beliefs or faith
It is a being not defined
A time without a clock
A feeling without emotion
Surreal to the human eye
Calm to the immortal soul
I have shared my last breath with you; not my last beat
My heart goes on
Not inside me but you.
You hold it close
You remember me
You share our stories
You wake up each day with a smile and lay to rest each night with a calm
I will always love you
Please feel no hate
Please feel no fear
You are not alone
My spirit lays beside you
When you shed a tear, I will dry your eyes.
It is now that the strength comes near and protects you in a moment of weakness
I have exhaled and now my breath is gone
I love you
I miss you
I am near
Reach out your hand and I will guide you each day of your life.
Writer / Blogger / Social Media and Talent Acquisition Consultant / Life Geek / Photographer
Human Resources, Talent Acquisition, Global Social Media and Marketing Solutions including: organizational development, team building, change management, compensation structural development and implementation, social media and talent community development, growth and advancement, training, rewards and recognition, recruitment, attrition control, affirmative action administration, labor relations and M&A.
Trainer
So You Think You Can Interview - ProNet August, 2010 Personal Branding and Social Media Resources - ProNet June, 2010 Personal Branding and Social Media Resources - Lee Hecht Harrison July, 2010 Personal Branding and Social Media Tooling - Lenova Women in Leadership September, 2010 Your Life Bag - ProNet October, 2010, The Effects of Social Media in the Workplace - Carolinas Payroll Conference November 2012
Published Author
Sonni's Abyss (June 2008)
A Beautiful World (February 2011)
This Time Around (Scheduled for February 2013 Publication)