Category Archives: Marriage

Is Marriage the Answer?..It can be

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Sometimes the comfort of life is found in the simplicity of routine and awareness. Last evening a comedian asked a recently married woman why she chose to get married and she replied, “It’s fun”. I almost wish it were that simple, but as we all know it is not.

Why do we get married, raise a family, lives in the solitude of a house with a white picket fence, a dog and two cats.

  1. It is safe and comforting. There is limited risk when you have the same routine, come home to the same people and know what to expect before the day begins.
  2. Avoidance of loneliness. We never want to live alone and more importantly die alone. It is one of the darkest thoughts any of us can conceive.
  3. Life is hard enough. If you can limit excess challenge and stress, it makes the rest a little more bearable. Finding someone to comfort you at night is one of the most emotionally straining journey’s of one’s life. Finding someone to share your life with is a gift, even if it is not perfectly wrapped, it is better than constantly shopping.
  4. It is a perception of accomplishment and normalcy.  Each stage of your life brings a societal accepted level of accomplishment.  As you reach a certain age, based on culture, geography, professional level, etc, one is expected to be married and bearing children.  Those that have not reached that level are all too often thought of as failures, gay, weird, crazy or any other number of personality or mental flaws.
  5. The need for intimacy.  As you get older, your physical attributes become less attractive and the availability of physical intimacy becomes more difficult.  Marriage does not guarantee daily affirmation, but it does assure you it will happen at some point.
  6. We no longer have to dream.  I see this as a negative.  When we are young we are full of wonder.  We want to see the world, volunteer to help the less fortunate, invent the next great thing, write the perfect novel, go to the Olympics or change the world.  Marriage can bury all those hopes and dreams with two simple words, “I do.”

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Here is why marriage can be incredible and stunning beyond your wildest imagination:

  1. She/he believes in you and you believe in her/him each and every day
  2. Your shared passions comes together in a perfect tapestry
  3. You laugh, cry and smile together
  4. They are the only person in focus and the vision of the them is brighter than anything else around you
  5. You want to feel the pain when they are not around
  6. You know you are not perfect and you are not ashamed to make mistakes
  7. Each kiss feels like the first.  Each morning is a new beginning
  8. The glow.  A simple day is like winning the Olympic gold as long as you can share it together.

Fall in love

Fall hard

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Take the giant leap, but only when you know; when you really know deep in the depths of your your heart that this is your destiny.  When they complete you like no has or ever will again, you will know.

It is the most unbelievable reality you will ever know.

It will amaze you.


A Love for All Time – To Season and Webb (Original Poem)

In a heartbeat the seasons changed
As quickly as a gust of wind tempting the morning dew

Lost in a field of uncertainty
No direction home
No memory of past love, but an empty glass filled with hope

Running to the light of a new world, her dreams now within reach, she stumbles into a web of enchantment

Tangled and confused, she soon feels the warmth of its touch, the strength of its hold, the security of its protection

As the web wraps itself around her gentle skin she knows she found the home longed for in the dreams of every young princess

A prince arrives without warning to lift her to the clouds and welcome her to the heavens of eternal bliss

Once a young fragile bird with weak wings now a beautiful eagle soaring
With her guardian angel and partner by her side, they fly

Fly higher than life
Fly further than the stars and welcome each day together as a foundation for the infinite love they feel

For Season and Michael are now a symbol of truth
The truth that when two souls collide led by destiny, the explosion is a million points of light that all lead to love

In this devotion, we are all blessed with a piece of this affection carried into our hearts by the soft breeze off the oceanfront


Keys to Workplace Happiness

Do you wake up on Monday morning dreading the week ahead or do you pop out of bed with a feeling of zest and vigor? Do you have the same sense of pride about your company that you do with your dog or children? Can you walk away at the end of the work day on Friday and know you made a difference?

These are all vital questions to ask yourself when you evaluate your current company, and the role you play in its success. Your job and your company should be a direct extension of yourself and your personality.

Ask yourself this, what type of personality do you have? What type of culture do you thrive in? What type of workforce are you compatible with?

Some have a start-up mentality while others thrive in a conservative structured environment.

Here is where we stand, when we look back at our lives while we sit on the rocking chair, sipping tea and watching the grass grow, we are going to come to the realization that over 40 years of our lives were spent working. Hopefully, those will be fond memories. Do you really want to look back in regret? I think not.

Finding Workplace Happiness – The Quiz

That is easy. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and see what brings you personal happiness, then you can easily translate that into the workplace.

Let us start with a self evaluation quiz.

Get your number two pencil and a piece of paper…..

1. Do you play well with others in a teaming environment or run as a well oiled individual contributor?
2. Are you an innovator or a status quo provider?
3. Do you thrive in a small family oriented setting or a large global entity?
4. Do you like to create or be told what to do?
5. Are you passionate about your company’s mission, products and services and vision for the future?
6. Do you feel your are maximizing your strengths in your current role?
7. Do you have room to breath and grow?
8. Can you walk away each day with a feeling of fulfillment?
9. Do you feel your company is an extension of yourself?
10. Do you feel like you will look back at your time spent and smile?

Each of these questions take a critical look at yourself and your perceptions of your relationship with your company. Based on the responses you will begin to understand your feelings about your company and its impact on you emotionally. You are in a marriage or a binding contract to be with your company through “better or worse, richer or poorer.” With any marriage there will of course be compromise, but in the end, it is about personal happiness, enrichment and fulfillment.

How do I ensure I am finding happiness in the workplace?

I know this is difficult to say during a recession that will have a sustained lasting affect for a number of years to come, but one should never stay with a company that is making them feel discouraged, emotionally drained or upset. Those negative feelings carry past the workplace into the home and the social setting. Continuous flow of negative energy could have a detrimental affect on physical and mental health. None of us want that. If you are truly unhappy, actively find a home that will turn that frown upside down.

Surround yourself with people that share the same positive energy as you. That includes personality, demeanor, passion, drive, ambition and challenge. As human beings we are bread with the pursuit of making a difference in the world. Your job should be no different. You need to know that you are making a significant contribution to your own development and to the success of the company. That is vital.

Treat each day like a new adventure. Keeping it fresh, spontaneous and zesty will make any career experience worthwhile.

Be expressive. The culture of a company is built on the brand, the products and service, the infrastructure but most importantly the human capital; You!

You are the ultimate foundation of everything your company stands for. You can look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Can you look at your company in the mirror and do the same? I hope the answer is yes. It is a part of you.

Never stop learning! Work is like school, a platform of learning. As we continue to grow, we continue to learn. Each day, each week, each month should be filled with moments of learning and growing.

Be true to yourself. Don’t hide behind a paycheck or a false sense of responsibility. If you are not having all your needs met, don’t stay with company. Remember earlier, we made the metaphor that you and your company are a marriage. Would you stay in an unhealthy marriage? I hope not.

There you have it, some of the keys to workplace happiness.

Find a company that makes you feel alive and cherishes each and every moment. That will be the one that will bring you the greatest personal happiness and sense of achievement.


Why Interviewing Should be More Like A Dating Service

As we consider the reality of surpassing 400 million Americans by 2030, a global recession that continues to linger and a dramatic change in social lifestyle, the schematics of dating have taken on a new framework. Competition is higher and the quality of candidates has shrunken to some questionable lows. Mobile communication and Web 2.0 have reduced the percentage of time spend in actual intimate face to face settings and more and more of us are becoming desensitized to human contact.

What an awakening!

Relationship headhunters have found an opening and now is their time to find a lucrative hole as wandering souls search desperately for a connection.

When professionals, successful adults or individuals feeling the social scene has gotten them down hire a relationship agency, they are provided with a number of resources:

1.) Coaching and training on how to effectively date. How to read body language. Proper posture. How to maintain a strong dining conversation and what is the right and wrong thing to say when posed with traditional date questions.

2.) Match you up with potential mates based on a series of personality and lifestyle matches.

3.) Selection locations that are most conducive of an comfortable conversation setting.

4.) Conduct initial background and credit checks on all potential clients.

5.) Organize meet and greet events to provide a comfortable social environment for clients.

6.) Follow up with relationships with metrics and success/failure stories.

Now with a successfully formula of research, process, implementation and reporting, why aren’t talent acquisition teams utilizing a similar philosophy?

First, why don’t companies do background checks during the initial interview and not wait until the offer is extended. Are there legal reasons, cost issues or just an unwillingness to take a proactive stance.

Do enough companies really follow up with new associates and solicit real feedback or is it based on a generic questionaire that isn’t even tailored to the role, location, business unit or responsibilities?

Who follows the path of this person? Is it the strategic sourcer, the recruiter, the hiring manager, the unit supervisor or the administrative assistant that reports the metrics???

Is the match making one sided? We know the company and the culture as talent acquisition specialists but do we really know the candidates?

They have the right technical skills. True
They have the right cultural background. True
They have industry experience. True
They have the right leadership skills? True

But, are they good long term marriage potential or will we see a divorce in the near future.

It is time we look at each of our processes and put yourself on the other side.

As the client, is my relationship consultant there from start to finish?
Are they really understanding me and my needs
Can I fall in love with the company or is this a short term romance.

I think all of us in talent acquisition can learn something from the match making world.


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