Category Archives: Parents

October 18, 2011

Reflections of Family – Quotes and Pictures

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.” – Rosaleen Dickson

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family” – Anthony Brandt

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” – George Bernard Shaw

“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” – Alex Haley

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.” – William D. Tammeus

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” – Anne Frank

“Family is the most important thing in the world.” – Princess Diana

“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” – Mario Puzo

“In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.” – Marge Kennedy

“Cherish your human connections – your relationships with friends and family.” – Barbara Bush

“Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox

Leave a comment | posted in Bonds, Children, Family, Parents, Quotes, Unity

August 10, 2011

It’s Never Too Late to Say “I Love You”

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

For many of us, our grandparents and later our parents grew up in difficult times surrounded by the tribulations of depression, world war, domestic violence, racial abuse and cultural change. We have been raised in a time of unprecedented technology and have been afforded certain luxuries unknown to our parents and grandparents as they grew from childhood to adult. During these times of the early through mid twentieth century, it was a culture domestically built on family values and respect. It was this foundation that developed a strong outer core and to us a stoic and often emotionless view of relationships between parents and children.

Not to say their love wasn’t strong and pure, but the way they translated that to us is different than our expectations. As we may put our hearts on our sleeve, our parents and grandparents saw the unspoken bond as the means of communicating love for one another.

In a way, technology has desensitized us and sent us backward to the same held back emotionless state we have grown to know from our elders. In an age of text messaging, instant messaging and tweeting, the ability to show unconditional love and feelings is slipping away. This by no means is an apocalyptic view on modern society, but a warning to all of us, including myself that we need to see where we are and more importantly where we are going. Is this the society we want to raise our children in? Do we want them to have a computer at age two, an IPad at three, I gaming console at five, and a complete lack of human need by ten?

As much as I prod my father to tell me he loves me, just to hear the words, it is something I know is difficult for him. I know he means it every day with his actions and his unconditional support and caring he shows for all his children. For him, it is a silent cry to us and very expressive at that. I know he won’t change and I don’t expect him to, but through mutual respect we know. My parents were raised to believe they will do everything in their power to provide their children with a good life.

They did. A wonderful education, safe neighborhood, good friends, strong family structure and most importantly independence. They provided me with the greatest gift: trust. They bestowed to me all their teachings and let me see and experience the world for myself. To me that is the greatest sense of love.

Look at your own life. Look at your family, your children, your friends, your relationships and ask yourself this question: “Is this the life that is truly making me happy?” If there is any doubt in that response or a no, a change needs to be made. I am not about to tell every reader they need to connect more, but to look inside yourself and determine if you are connecting enough.

We all want to hear words of encouragement, receive a hug and a smile, have a person to turn to in times of need and feel connected to others. It is that energy that is exchanged between two human beings that makes the gift of life so remarkable. You may have 1000 followers or 5000 friends in the virtual superhighway, but I will take a long hug and a sunset with someone I care about over that any day.

Maybe the first thing you should do in the morning is smile at someone, hug someone and tell someone special in your life that you love them.

It’s not too late!

1 comment | posted in Children, Connecting, Emotions, Family, Grandparents, Love, Parents, Relationships

August 4, 2011

Home is where the heart is….

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

“There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all”

In My Life – The Beatles

As I drove through the streets of Minneapolis and St. Paul passing the places that reminded me of a comfortable feeling a long time ago when I called this home, a sense of nostalgia grew inside of me. Some of the places have remained, while others are victims to the recession. Memories raced back as I began to recall all of the life altering events that took place during my residence and all the friends that came and went, but more importantly the ones that stayed with me.

I soon arrived with dinner for Sonni, Mom and baby. Three generations together in one room. Pat didn’t hesitate to remind me that this was my second family and I need not wait so long to return. I feel as though she slipped that in more than once during the evening and the hug goodbye. I don’t know if I will see them before I fly home Saturday to see family number one. To add an exclamation point to this final visit to the home of Sonni and Sam, my framed poem for Tino was resting on the wall in the entrance to his room. My words to Tino will always be in sight and watching over him at night.

Maybe it has been the time away or the relaxing sense of seclusion I have in Charleston, but the depth of feelings that have reared during this trip seem intensified more than the last. I could dive into an analysis factoring in the birth of a child, old friends who have taken new steps in their lives and some that have remained in their current bubble. One thing remains clear, the ability to slip back into that comfort zone remains.

Tino was born into a wonderful circle of family and friends and no matter what course of life he chooses, he will always be surrounded by support. A few days prior to the birth, I went to the cemetery to see Janet Hegg, Sonni’s Grandmother who passed away in 1997. I found myself talking to her and telling her about the newest member of the family. It was somewhat comforting given that I never met her. It may be the single moment I once again realized I was part of this family.

In a few days, I will see my family. What a thought: I have the chance to spend a month with two different families. How many have the opportunity to say that.

Seven weeks is summed up in a computer bag and a gym bag. Some would find that alarming, but not me. It doesn’t matter what is in the bag, because it is never about the material value I carry with me each day. It is about the meals, the conversations, the hugs, the gifts, the quiet moments during a sunset and the laughter from shared memories that fills my bag up with each visit.

Home not only is where the heart is but where people let you inside their hearts. Thank you to my first and second families for reminding me how important these relationships are in my life.

1 comment | posted in Birth, Family, Friends, Heart, Home, Memories, Minnesota, Nostalgia, Parents, St. Paul, Visits

September 4, 2010

Once a New Yorker, Always a New Yorker – Tale of a Jersey Boy

By Recruiterpoet - Professionalism With Flare

Last weekend I had the fortunate opportunity to stand in the company of three generations of New Yorkers, some above ground and some below.

As we basked in the sun, convertible top down making our way from Manhattan to Brooklyn to Queens, I saw my history following me with each passing mile.

On the concrete, Brooklyn men took their aggression of the heat, over crowded streets and unemployment to the softballs with a rainbow of colorful dialogue I am not at liberty to repeat in mixed company.

The new trendy area of Bensonhorst was filled with artists, lesbians, gays, musicians, writers and a cowman. Yes a man dressed as a cow preaching about the injustice in the world. If you search through the archives of Facebook, I imagine you will find several pictures of him as many IPhones took in the attraction, free of charge.

After Dad and I met with my Aunt and Uncle, we paid respects to my grandparents in a most honorable way and then drove down Wyona Street in Brooklyn. For many of you that name has no significant meaning. For me, it was a word that is always connected to the youth of my mother. It was her home at birth and now drenched in poverty and crime. Once a thriving neighborhood with dreams of young immigrants is now victim to change.

It still sent a little shiver, as it was the first time I had ever set foot on the road that raised my mother.

Dinner time. Keep in mind for the Senior Citizen population that is 4:00 PM EST. We did one better. We got to the diner at 3:40 PM. As I was surrounded by my passive aggressive, indecisive, food obsessed family, I started to see just why I ran. My Aunt, who of course knew the four people at the table next to us, chatted and chatted and chatted and chatted away back and forth from table to table. Her husband, a well decorated World War II hero who never spoke much about it, sat quietly with his WW II Veteran hat on watching the Yankees game from afar. With all due respect, he has hearing aids in both ears and difficulty hearing. Maybe a benefit given that his wife never stops talking.

MY father, the firm stoic man, just wanted to enjoy a quiet meal. In a neighborhood of Jews and Italians, this meal did not lack food. We started with an entire loaf of marble bread, macaroni salad, beet salad and cole slaw. Just because…Next were salad and soup for the three of them as they ordered “entrees”. I just was content with my veggie wrap and fries but guilt and pressure would soon prevail as the minute my mouth was empty more food was pushed my way.

Couldn’t we talk, I thought…Nope. Eat Eat Eat.

The meal was wonderful except I was too full to eat most of it.

As the meal tapered off, I wanted a group picture. Let’s ask the waitress I thought but one of the women at the next table said “Let Bernie take the picture. He is an expert.”

I did not doubt the expertise of Bernie for even a second except for one minor detail. Bernie was between 85 and 90 years old. As we smiled and what appeared to be the camera facing the ground, I was a bit skeptical but as fate would have it, the pictures did come out on the digital camera.

Finally we argued over who would pay, everyone checked their shoelaces and we departed slowly for the door. Not due to a crowded restaurant, it was as fast as everyone could go.

All and all, it was a great family outing filled with memories, nostalgia and a little reminder of who I am and who I will always be no matter how far a run.

Embrace family and know you will always be your own person, but you carry everything about family inside…always.

1 comment | posted in Brooklyn, Culture, Diners, Grandparents, Italians, Jews, Parents, Queens, World War II

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