Category Archives: Uncategorized

Is your boss cool or cruel…Let us evaluate the signs

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I am fortunate to have a warm and receptive boss that cares about my future and goes above and beyond to provide me with the tools and resources to gain the necessary skills to grow and work in a very satisfying environment.

With her cheerleader persona, focus on rewards and recognition and balanced workflow, she is a role model for the qualities that we look for in a “cool” boss.  On a daily basis, I witness a leader that:

  • Fosters innovation
  • Promotes strong positive behavior
  • Engages a teaming environment
  • Provides her staff with opportunities to promote leadership through project management initiatives
  • Shares in best practices and process improvement
  • Promotes strong performance through a series of monetary and non-monetary rewards
  • Acknowledges individual and group successes to the team and leadership
  • Has trust to allow the team to work independently and not micro manage responsibility and results
  • A proponent for growth and development
  • Supports your causes if you have researched them and believe in them
  • Provides the tools and resources to succeed
  • Sets measurable and challenging goals
  • Believes in the success of the team each and every day

There you have it, the attributes of a “cool” boss.

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“Cool” bosses win championships, lead successful companies, mentor the future leaders of the world and at the end of the day are incredible mothers, fathers, children, siblings, friends, volunteers and advocates for good.

All to often, at some point in our career we fall under the jurisdiction of the “cruel” boss.  There are many reasons we are supervised by individuals with negative energy that inhibit growth and change.  

First, we should identify the signs of a “cruel” boss:

  • Aggressive and negative in behavior and communications
  • Takes credit for the work of their subordinates
  • Does not promote or reward positive behavior and results
  • Micro manages work flow, output and daily responsibilities
  • Does not provide resources, tools or budget to promote efficient and productive output
  • Focused only on oneself and not the betterment of the team
  • Wedges barriers between team engagement
  • Finger points and pins colleague against colleague
  • Not supportive of the team goals

Many factors go into negative personality attributes affiliated with a “cruel” boss.  Some are affected by their personal life, feelings of rejection being passed up on a promotion, a history of bullying or overbearing behavior or a perception that you need to be hard and aggressive to move up the corporate ladder.

Studies have been done on backgrounds, behaviors, genders and even height on the types of people that are promoted and make the most income.  Some fields of study argue the tough and aggressive approach while others engage the collaborative and supportive approach.

Either way, more people spend time in the office environment than in their home and personal lives.  From the time we are 18-22 until we turn 65 to 70, we will be spending most of our adult lives working.  This is a statement that really needs to sink in.  A negative work environment breeds stress, health issues and an overall negative environment.  It can lead to such unhealthy behaviors as drinking, smoking or violence. This negativity will translate to the family live, personal life and interaction with strangers.

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It is critical that leaders with people management abilities understand their roles and develop an approach that is positive, productive, engaging and fun.  Here is how:

  • Learn about your team.  Understand their strengths and weaknesses and partner up skills.  Understand their personalities and determine how they can co-exist in a cordial manner.
  • Spend time understanding their future goals and aspirations.  Set up measurable projects, action items and training that will get them where they want to go.
  • Promote and reward strong productive performance.  Winners win and others will follow.
  • Be fair but be supportive of their efforts even if there is a risk.
  • Let them be.  These are professionals, no matter what industry and trusting them is a big sign of support.
  • Let them become the professional they want to be.  Guide them, but let them breathe.
  • If comfortable, learn about their lives outside of work.  We are in a social engagement/networking world now.  Personal and professional lives are starting to become one.

There we have it.

There are “cool” bosses and “cruel” bosses.  The entertainment industry has taken a comical look at “cruel” bosses in film with Office Space, Horrible Bosses, Swimming with Sharks, The Devil Wears Prada and Glengarry Glen Ross, but this should not be the stance we take in the work force.

A productive team is always better than a productive person. The collective sharing of ideas, innovations and expertise will lead us forward in the business world. We need leaders that understand, support and foster a positive work environment.

Do you have a “cool” boss or a “cruel” boss?


Why do we accept the love we think we deserve…

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Do you want to be loved or do you want others around you to find happiness at your expense?
Do you want to settle or define of a life of happiness?

These are loaded questions filled with many options.

The pursuit of love is a passionate ride filled with bumps, obstacles and for some devastation. Too take another life and grant it permission to your heart, the most fragile thing in all existence is one so many of us are hesitant to do. You never want to willingly put yourself in a bad place and if you isolate yourself from emotional vulnerability, you won’t get hurt.

But if you do not live these moments, embrace the beauty in front of your eyes and realize that life is not about infinite happiness, but about individual moments that collectively make us infinite, then you are missing out.

What is it about our inalienable unconscious decision to settle that makes us so damn cliche in our pursuit of unhappiness and boredom that sets in and manifests itself into a slow journey to death?

Do we wake up one day and decide we no longer want to try?
Do we look in the mirror and realize this is the best we will ever be?
Do we accept that time is our deep rooted enemy and no matter how hard we try, they will win?
Do we just say, screw it. You like me, so why not.

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We all deserve better
We all earned better

We are all kings and queens. That doesn’t stop when you turn six and start seeing the harsh realities of life. That little boy and girl on top of the snow hill with the whole world in front of them needs to be you, always.

Ask yourself this: What moments defined you?

  • Was it a song?
  • Was it an event?
  • Was it a movie?
  • Was it a kiss?
  • Was it a tragedy?
  • Was it a success?
  • Was it the first time you felt scared?
  • Was it a quiet moment alone in reflection?
  • Was it when you looked in her eyes?
  • Was it the first touch?
  • Was it a line in a book?

Think very hard and don’t just remember the moment; remember the feelings you had and the thoughts running through your head.  You know what those thoughts were.

They were dreams, ambitions, ideas.  All things that make us great.  You wanted to run through the fields screaming in joy.   You know this.  You can feeling it all rushing back now.

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Find that again.

  • Find the first record that made you cry and cry all over again
  • Find the first boy or girl that helped you discover love and thank them
  • Remember your greatest accomplishment and then make a list of five more better than that and achieve them
  • Make a better tomorrow for yourself
  • Find love; true love; great love; infinite love

That is when you will stop accepting the love you think you deserve and starting loving the way you are meant to.


Is Marriage the Answer?..It can be

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Sometimes the comfort of life is found in the simplicity of routine and awareness. Last evening a comedian asked a recently married woman why she chose to get married and she replied, “It’s fun”. I almost wish it were that simple, but as we all know it is not.

Why do we get married, raise a family, lives in the solitude of a house with a white picket fence, a dog and two cats.

  1. It is safe and comforting. There is limited risk when you have the same routine, come home to the same people and know what to expect before the day begins.
  2. Avoidance of loneliness. We never want to live alone and more importantly die alone. It is one of the darkest thoughts any of us can conceive.
  3. Life is hard enough. If you can limit excess challenge and stress, it makes the rest a little more bearable. Finding someone to comfort you at night is one of the most emotionally straining journey’s of one’s life. Finding someone to share your life with is a gift, even if it is not perfectly wrapped, it is better than constantly shopping.
  4. It is a perception of accomplishment and normalcy.  Each stage of your life brings a societal accepted level of accomplishment.  As you reach a certain age, based on culture, geography, professional level, etc, one is expected to be married and bearing children.  Those that have not reached that level are all too often thought of as failures, gay, weird, crazy or any other number of personality or mental flaws.
  5. The need for intimacy.  As you get older, your physical attributes become less attractive and the availability of physical intimacy becomes more difficult.  Marriage does not guarantee daily affirmation, but it does assure you it will happen at some point.
  6. We no longer have to dream.  I see this as a negative.  When we are young we are full of wonder.  We want to see the world, volunteer to help the less fortunate, invent the next great thing, write the perfect novel, go to the Olympics or change the world.  Marriage can bury all those hopes and dreams with two simple words, “I do.”

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Here is why marriage can be incredible and stunning beyond your wildest imagination:

  1. She/he believes in you and you believe in her/him each and every day
  2. Your shared passions comes together in a perfect tapestry
  3. You laugh, cry and smile together
  4. They are the only person in focus and the vision of the them is brighter than anything else around you
  5. You want to feel the pain when they are not around
  6. You know you are not perfect and you are not ashamed to make mistakes
  7. Each kiss feels like the first.  Each morning is a new beginning
  8. The glow.  A simple day is like winning the Olympic gold as long as you can share it together.

Fall in love

Fall hard

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Take the giant leap, but only when you know; when you really know deep in the depths of your your heart that this is your destiny.  When they complete you like no has or ever will again, you will know.

It is the most unbelievable reality you will ever know.

It will amaze you.


2012 in review – Recruiterpoet Blog

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year. This blog was viewed about 290,000 times in 2012. If it were Liechtenstein, it would take about 5 years for that many people to see it. Your blog had more visits than a small country in Europe!

Click here to see the complete report.


Weakness of Love – Original Poem

There is a truth in your eyes that tells me you will always protect me from the storm
The closer you hold me, the more freedom I feel
I can comprehend from your unspoken words, the feelings you hold in your heart

I am bestowed with a blessing
Not in words nor actions
Not in the premeditated journey written in the sand script of my mind

But with a kiss and a stare
You penetrate deep into the corners of the most protected layers of this fragile soul
Without knowing it, I have given you my life
With one mighty release, I am thrust into your arms
Reality is suspended; time has stop and eternity has set a course for the unknown

It is in this now we become a power higher than ourselves
This completeness can only become fulfillment when the greatest weapon of the angels is exploited; unconditional love

In the now, I breathe your air
I walk in your shadow
I bleed pain when you ache

In the now, your inner beauty overtakes this external facade
Your soft skin, radiant eyes and gentle lips are but a disguise to ward off the weak and invite the pure

I am now powerless but grabbing the spirit of a thousand horses
My heart stronger than steel; my body gentle as a warm autumn breeze

In this final release, I walk to you barefoot and exposed


This is why we are Jersey Strong!

Regardless of what state I am in or the classiness of the bar I attend, I am greeted with the same series of questions by every single bouncer:

1. You know the guys from Jersey Shore?
2. Are you all like that?
3. Should I watch out for you since you are from Jersey?
4. Jersey sucks

Thank you to the mental impaired cast of Jersey Shore for six magnificently destructive years of bad television. Like a facial wart that would just not go away, Jersey Shore has managed to destroy the reputation of New Jersey far worse than even the Sopranos, that spring break episode of American Dad with the bus load from Rutgers, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Real Housewives of Jersey, My Big Friggin Wedding, Charles in Charge, The Richard Bay Show, Jerseylicious or Bikini Barbershop.

Thank goodness Empire Boardwalk and House were there to redeem us the last few years.

Now as we rebuild New Jersey from Hurricane Sandy, we are certain, we will be better than ever!!

For those of you outsiders that have never seen New Jersey past the Newark or Liberty International Airport, you may be in for a rude awakening. There is a reason we are called the Garden State.

Here are a few facts about New Jersey that may surprise you and hopefully the brilliant minds in television development will think twice again before airing shows like Jersey Shore.

1. There are 9800 operational farms in New Jersey and the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production as well as top five in tomato production.

2. Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.

3. New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky and the National Equestrian team trains here.

4. On November 11, 2010, 671 students and staff members of The Lawrenceville School in central New Jersey set the new Guinness World Record for the biggest custard pie fight.

5. New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the “Diner Capital of the World.”

6. New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, one of the first symbols of American for many.

7. In 1884, a young Milton S. Hershey learned the art of candy making as an apprentice at Day’s Restaurant in Morristown, after which he returned to Pennsylvania to start the world-famous Hershey chocolate candy empire. Yes Jersey helped make chocolate available to the masses.

8. The Passaic River in Paterson was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland.

9. New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for water quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.

10. The first national historic park in America was established in 1933 in Morristown.

11. The world’s largest elephant statue, Lucy the Elephant, is in Margate.

12. The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.

13. The first copper mine in America was opened by enterprising Dutch settlers in the Kittatinny Mountains, circa 1640.

14. Famous NJ natives include William “Bud” Abbot, Alan Alda, Jason Alexander, Robert Blake, David Copperfield, Lou Costello, Tom Cruise, Sandra Dee, Brian DePalma, Danny DeVito, Michael Douglas, Kirsten Dunst, John Forsythe, James Gandolfini, Janeane Garafolo, Savion Glover, Ethan Hawke, Frank Langella, Jerry Lewis, Ray Liotta, Bette Midler, Frankie Muniz, Ozzie Nelson, Bebe Neuwirth, Jack Nicholson, Joe Pesci, Christopher Reeve, Paul Robeson, Susan Sarandon, Roy Schneider, Kevin Spacey, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, John Travolta, Lee Van Cleef, “Uncle” Floyd Vivino, Bruce Willis, Clerow “Flip” Wilson, Scott Wolfe, William “Count” Basie, Jon Bon Jovi, Connie Francis, Deborah Harry, Lauryn Hill, Whitney Houston, Ice-T, Queen Latifah, Les Paul, Nelson Riddle, Frank Sinatra, Paul Simon, Patti Smith, Bruce Springsteen, Frankie Vallie, Sarah Vaughn, Dionne Warwick, Yogi Berra, Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Vince Lombardi, Shaquille O’Neal, Joe Theismann, Buzz Aldrin, Aaron Burr, Clara Barton, Thomas Paine, Molly Pitcher, Betsy Ross, Harriet Tubman, President Woodrow Wilson, President Grover Cleveland, Judy Blume, James Fenimore Cooper, Stephen Crane, Allen Gingsburg, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Toni Morrison, Norman Mailer, Dorothy Parker, Philip Roth, Albert Payson Terhune, William Carlos Williams, Walt Whitman, Malcolm Forbes, Robert Wood Johnson II, “Stormin” Norman Schwarzkopf, Samuel Colt, Thomas Edison, John P. Holland, Joe Piscopo, Marilynn McCoo, Eddie Money, Joyce Kilmer, Caesar Romero, Nathan Lane, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Dave Thomas (Wendy’s), Robert Wuhl, Ernie Kovacs and Kelly Ripa.

15. Leo the MGM Lion, Cheetah the chimp and Elsie the Borden Cow are buried in New Jersey.

16. First Football Game – On November 6, 1869, Rutgers met Princeton in what is considered the first intercollegiate game of American football, although it bore no resemblance to today’s sport. The game was played with 25 players on a side and under Rutgers’ rules, meaning that the ball could only be advanced by kicking or batting it with the feet, hands, heads or body. Catching, carrying, and throwing the ball were all illegal. Rutgers won the game six goals to four. A week later, a rematch was held using Princeton rules, one of which was the rewarding of a “free kick” to a player who caught the ball. Princeton won this game eight to zero.

17. The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden in 1933.

18. NJ’s Pulaski Skyway, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway ever built.

19. The first Indian reservation was in the NJ Watchung Mountains.

20. The worlds largest brown bear (12 ft tall and over 2000 lbs) resided at Space Farms Zoo and Museum in Bemmerville until his death. “Goliath” is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest brown bear ever on record. His stuffed body is now on display at Space Farms.

21. The first steam locomotive to actually pull a train on a track was built by John Stevens of Hoboken in 1824.

22. The first robot to replace a human worker was used by General Motors in Ewing Township in 1961.

23. NJ built the first tunnel under a river, the Holland Tunnel under the Hudson River.

24. In 1893, the world’s first film production studio, the Black Maria, was completed by Thomas Edison in West Orange.

25. The first balloon flight in America was made by Jean-Pierre Blanchard. On January 9,1793, he landed a balloon at Deptford carrying a letter from George Washington.

26. The first phonograph records were made in Camden, New Jersey.

27. The first recorded, official baseball game was played on June 19, 1846 in Hoboken.

28. The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on its playing board after actual streets in Atlantic City.

29. New Jersey has over 4,100 freshwater lakes, ponds, rivers, and streams — almost 61,000 acres of water

30. Picturesque Cape May holds the distinction of being the oldest seashore resort in the United States and one of the most unique.

31. Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world.

32. New Jersey has the tallest water tower in the world.

33. New Jersey has Sinatra and Springsteen

New Jersey is a state full of rich history and firsts. A state built on pride, family, nutrition, determination, hard work and celebration. We are a state that has a proud tradition and it continues to shine today. Others will continue to try and throw shots at Jersey and we welcome that. At the end of the day, we are all proud of where we came from. With all the innovation, creativity and hard work, New Jersey will continue to lead the nation and the world as we look past the horizon into the future.


The Pleasure of Sin – Original Poem

Burn the tattooed lingerie resting on your milky skin
Destroy the satin and lace
Eliminate the wanton python sucking life from the passionless timid souls

Clear your mind, resolve the past and look in the mirror and indulge in the sexual freedom that is unleashed in your confidence

You are a shining star that wills the glass with the red blood frenzy of ecstacy
Each step closer to a wet bed of intimate sensuality gleaming from the sparkle in your eyes

The soft curves of your legs
The warmth of your skin
The subtle comfort of your smile

Your love is felt with the impulse of your proximity
The weak bow to your omnipresence
No compromise
No retreat
You own the moment
You overpower all limitation and seize this moment

With one kiss you release the beast inside
Letting it out to roar, scratch and bite
We are animals and you hold the key to opening the cage.

Anticipation is your ammunition
In the moments of preparation, the battlefield is ready
Gearing up in heels, stockings, intimates under the light that hug your curves with no room for imagination

Mercy on our souls


Why you should see “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World”

It is important to note that the commentary I am about to share is not agreed upon by my father of whom I shared my movie going experience with. Disagreeing with my father alone should be enough to see this film but there is more. Oh so much more.

Go see Seeking a Friend For The End of the World

It is not the adorable demeanor of Keira Knightley and the way her eyes open wide as she smiles and gives you that endearing look that makes you melt. It is not the pan dry humor of Steve Carell in a situation where the impending doom of the world is upon all of us. It is not the perfectly situated canine that adds just the right mix to this journey. It is not even the evolution of the humor transcending from uncertainly to lunacy to love that makes this a great sleeper hit. It isn’t even (spoiler alert…ok minor spoiler) the surprise of Martin Sheen as Steve Carell’s father that adds a special flare. It is the ability of writer and director Lorene Scafaria to take on the topic of the apocolyptic end of the earth as we know it and transfer it into a comedic and sentimental love story.

During the course of the film, the countdown to the end of the world is a constant in the backdrop of our minds, but what makes this movie so fascinating is how it utilizes irony and dry humor to take the audiences mind off of the climax and place it smack into the intimacy of the characters. Somewhere in this journey, the humor goes away and this becomes a story of discovery and love. It reminds us that in the face of disaster, the one thing we always have to count on is love.

As Dodge (Carell) and Penny (Knightley) each try to find closure before the end of the world, they begin to realize that what they found in each other were the answers they had been seeking. The world ending was a catalyst for two strangers finding the love they needed. In the end, they were both rescued. There is no last minute twist and the meteor shoots a thousand miles off course, but they were rescued from two lives that lost direction.

In each other, they found closure, love, togetherness and passion.

There is one moment, where Dodge and Penny stumble on a group of people looking for answers and direction and getting baptized in the ocean. During that afternoon, they laughed and shared stories with strangers. Children played and for a moment all these people that never would have come together found a moment of peace and a place in each others heart.

This is a very sentimental story that for most will have you shedding a few tears. It is also at the core a love story. I think that is what I took away in the end. Will some of you walk away wishing the world didn’t end so they had more time together? I am sure of it. I just hope you see the deeper message in this film.

Most importantly, I hope you see this film. You may even remind yourself of your love of vinyl.

Not many have witnessed this movie and it is one that in the middle of a summer of 3D and huge blockbusters can be easily missed.


I Went to a Zoo

I went to a zoo on Saturday. First it was chocolate and raspberry crepe and hot chocolate then off to High Park Zoo in Toronto, Ontario. Why is it important that I share a story about a small quaint zoo with emu, goats, bison, wallaby, reindeer and cows?

First, it is a zoo. If that isn’t enough to celebrate then what is? The thought of exotic animals from every continent around the world cohabitate in one place and being able to touch, talk and learn about them is just one of the most amazing concepts on earth. It is a utopia of life from the simplicity of eating and pooping to the complexity of mating. We get to bear witness to how other animals and species live around the world all at our finger tips.

Second, The National Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY and zoos are a bit of a holy grail to me. I can sense them, I can feel them but somehow I never thought I would see them again. Like many people, when I have a quest, I will stick to my guns until that need is met. Now The Hall of Fame has become more of a joke between my father and I so the likelihood of meeting this destiny may not be in the near future but I was able to go to Yogi Berra’s Museum last summer and that helped ease the pain.

Now back to the zoo. Due to a calendar overlook, we were not able to go to Shakespeare in the Park last night and see A Mid Summer Nights Dream but through a little additional research, I learned that High Park had a zoo.

Yippy! Are you feeling the excitement now! So after bribing my father with a nice savory sweet crepe, it was off to the zoo. What a time was had. I had a nice conversation with an Emu who posed so nicely, watched a couple of young goats experience true love or mounting, watched a bison poop for what seemed like an hour, was amazed by the wing span of the peacock, cringed as the goats who were in mid shedding and laughed at the reindeer with their furry antlers.

A zoo is one of the rare places you can feel like a child each and every time you walk through the open gates. As I walked on the medium like a gymnast in the Olympics minus the style points and eloquence, I felt like I was ten again. It is nice to get an hour sometimes to forget about life’s problems and just be an innocent child once again. I wanted to pet every one of them and even may have renamed a few. I liked the names but some just didn’t fit based on the relationship I created with them.

As the sun was setting so too was my visit to the zoo. You can give me a 50 acre zoo with an IMAX theater, a dolphin experience, a one of a kind albino alligator, giraffes that touch the clouds and elephants so massive you won’t believe your eyes, but in my mind, if you can find a small zoo where you can make an intimate connection with the animals in a small setting, it is so worth it.

So there you have it. I went to the zoo. I hope you enjoyed my little story and maybe, just maybe it too inspired you to want to befriend an animal or two at the zoo.

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Journey Into Night – Original Poem

The night sky dark and clear
A spectacle of stars fills the night sky
An Imax of universal proportions free of charge

Into the night to the chats of go west, a journey begins with one step and ends with closure

Two journeymen brought together by blood; torn by life’s choices
It is with wisdom and sacrifice they find common ground

Strength of will to guide them along the black abyss
Deeper into the darkness, clarity is found

In the moment of weary indecision a sign is thrust upon them
In a burst of hallucination and clairvoyance their mission is clear

A force, more powerful than time provides a spiritual sleigh to bring them home
Legs weak
Thoughts clouded
Wills nearly broken

The light of day rises from a blissful rest and brings vision to the blind
It is a warm blanket of comfort

Now the journeymen must rest
Lay their bodies down and replenish for this road is only begun

Another dawn; a welcome hug; a time for healing


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