Category Archives: Workplace

Keys to Workplace Happiness

Do you wake up on Monday morning dreading the week ahead or do you pop out of bed with a feeling of zest and vigor? Do you have the same sense of pride about your company that you do with your dog or children? Can you walk away at the end of the work day on Friday and know you made a difference?

These are all vital questions to ask yourself when you evaluate your current company, and the role you play in its success. Your job and your company should be a direct extension of yourself and your personality.

Ask yourself this, what type of personality do you have? What type of culture do you thrive in? What type of workforce are you compatible with?

Some have a start-up mentality while others thrive in a conservative structured environment.

Here is where we stand, when we look back at our lives while we sit on the rocking chair, sipping tea and watching the grass grow, we are going to come to the realization that over 40 years of our lives were spent working. Hopefully, those will be fond memories. Do you really want to look back in regret? I think not.

Finding Workplace Happiness – The Quiz

That is easy. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and see what brings you personal happiness, then you can easily translate that into the workplace.

Let us start with a self evaluation quiz.

Get your number two pencil and a piece of paper…..

1. Do you play well with others in a teaming environment or run as a well oiled individual contributor?
2. Are you an innovator or a status quo provider?
3. Do you thrive in a small family oriented setting or a large global entity?
4. Do you like to create or be told what to do?
5. Are you passionate about your company’s mission, products and services and vision for the future?
6. Do you feel your are maximizing your strengths in your current role?
7. Do you have room to breath and grow?
8. Can you walk away each day with a feeling of fulfillment?
9. Do you feel your company is an extension of yourself?
10. Do you feel like you will look back at your time spent and smile?

Each of these questions take a critical look at yourself and your perceptions of your relationship with your company. Based on the responses you will begin to understand your feelings about your company and its impact on you emotionally. You are in a marriage or a binding contract to be with your company through “better or worse, richer or poorer.” With any marriage there will of course be compromise, but in the end, it is about personal happiness, enrichment and fulfillment.

How do I ensure I am finding happiness in the workplace?

I know this is difficult to say during a recession that will have a sustained lasting affect for a number of years to come, but one should never stay with a company that is making them feel discouraged, emotionally drained or upset. Those negative feelings carry past the workplace into the home and the social setting. Continuous flow of negative energy could have a detrimental affect on physical and mental health. None of us want that. If you are truly unhappy, actively find a home that will turn that frown upside down.

Surround yourself with people that share the same positive energy as you. That includes personality, demeanor, passion, drive, ambition and challenge. As human beings we are bread with the pursuit of making a difference in the world. Your job should be no different. You need to know that you are making a significant contribution to your own development and to the success of the company. That is vital.

Treat each day like a new adventure. Keeping it fresh, spontaneous and zesty will make any career experience worthwhile.

Be expressive. The culture of a company is built on the brand, the products and service, the infrastructure but most importantly the human capital; You!

You are the ultimate foundation of everything your company stands for. You can look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Can you look at your company in the mirror and do the same? I hope the answer is yes. It is a part of you.

Never stop learning! Work is like school, a platform of learning. As we continue to grow, we continue to learn. Each day, each week, each month should be filled with moments of learning and growing.

Be true to yourself. Don’t hide behind a paycheck or a false sense of responsibility. If you are not having all your needs met, don’t stay with company. Remember earlier, we made the metaphor that you and your company are a marriage. Would you stay in an unhealthy marriage? I hope not.

There you have it, some of the keys to workplace happiness.

Find a company that makes you feel alive and cherishes each and every moment. That will be the one that will bring you the greatest personal happiness and sense of achievement.


A Mathematical Formula for Success in the Workplace

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

can be represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you-

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, you can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.


Have You Ever Had “THAT” Co-worker but never had the term to define them…Here we are with a new set of HR Terminology to Help

Provided by the Recruitment Network:

Each day we interact with various individuals whose unique behaviors and mannerisms make them a unique part of the corporate infrastructure. Let us take a few minutes to properly define these individuals so that you manage your workday more efficiently. For those that fall into one of these categories….You know who you are:

Key essential additions for the workplace vocabulary –

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s work place

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.


Signs That You Work in the ’00′s

I would like to thank the wonderful people at Electronixwarehouse.com for providing this wonderful commentary on the modern workplace. I wish I could take personal credit but I feel this is worth sharing with others. Enjoy!

SIGNS THAT YOU WORK IN THE ’00S

Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s homepage to your bookmarks.

You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.

Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.

You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and Inter-office Mail painfully slow.

You assume any question about whether to valet park or not is rhetorical.

You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.

Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don’t even exist anymore

You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.

You get all excited when it’s Saturday so you can wear sweats to work.

You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as “deliverables.”

You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.

You think that “progressing an action plan” and “calendarizing a project” are acceptable English phrases.

You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next-door neighbors.

You ask your friends to “think out of the box” when making Friday night plans.

You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.

You think a “half-day” means leaving at 5 o’clock.

You study “Dilbert” as a survival manual.

You question the viability of the English language when you find out that Administrative Assistant” means everything from taking shorthand to making sure the deli cuts the fat off your boss’s pastrami sandwich.

You watch stupid idiotic sitcoms at night because you’re too tired to do anything else.

The only fun you have any more is composing your fantasy resignation speech.

You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

You order business cards in “half orders” instead of whole boxes.

When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is your best jokes file.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets combined.

You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

It’s dark when you drive to and from work.

Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

Communication is something your group is having problems with.

You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.

Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.

Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.

Art involves a white board.

You’re already late on the assignment you just got.

You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say, “Oh wow, thanks!”

Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your co-workers only.

Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a free minute” or “when you’re freed up”

Your boss’ second favorite lines are “this isn’t exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed.”

Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Years week.

Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers”.

Change is the norm.

Nepotism is encouraged.

The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting


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