Category Archives: Zombies

Just When We Needed a Hero – It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Super Tebow

Tim Tebow, throughout his collegiate career with the Florida Gators was a sweetheart and/or role model to all. He was a heart throb to the girls on campus and a legend to all men, fraternities and even professors. Every Saturday, during football season, Gainsville, Florida become Gator country and to some Tebow Country. Tim Tebow was a celebrity who could create an instant classic with his arm and legs.

Look at the numbers:

Winner of the Heisman Trophy in 2007, and 26 of 28 wins his final two seasons, he was destined for greatness. In his collegiate career, in the air and on the ground, Tebow amassed 145 touchdowns. A remarkable feat for any athlete. His respect for family, his morals, and his passion on and off the field made him a role model for children and adults. Before he even had a chance to throw a football in the National Football League (NFL), Tim Tebow Denver Broncos football jerseys became the fastest selling professionals jersey of all time. It was just a matter of time before a bronze statue would be erected in his honor.

Unfortunately, it was a difficult transition for this natural athlete as he struggled in pre-draft camp to transition to the more conservative flow of the professional game. Just when the sun could not shine any brighter on Tim, he saw himself on the sidelines, without fan fare and without a chance to prove his value to his fans and his new home, Denver.

Life has a funny way of turning on people and bringing even the most deserving to its knees. A man with such amazing conviction would not be let down. During his first season in the NFL, this 6’3″ 236 pound quarterback played in nine games, starting three with a quarterback rating of only 82.1 and completing 50% of his passes. Not a terrible inaugural year, but not numbers worthy of a champion.

Yesterday, something happened. The global economy did not completely turn around, natural disasters had not seized to exist and world peace welcome us in celebration and song, but something that gave us a reason to believe once again in the good of humanity. The Miami Dolphins were leading 15 – 0 over the Denver Broncos with 7 minutes and 34 seconds remaining in the game. Then Tim Tebow reached deep inside his soul and found the strength to once again raise himself to the levels that brought fans to their knees in Florida week in and week out. With 2 minutes and 44 seconds remaining, Tebow found Demaryius Thomas in the end zone to make it a 15 – 7 game. With only 17 seconds remaining in the game, Tim once again found the end zone this time a three yard pass to Daniel Fells. Now the score sits at 15 – 13. A two point conversion is the only thing that stood in the way of potential overtime. With fire in his eyes and wings on his heels, Tebow ran the ball into the right side of the end zone to force overtime and one of the most amazing comebacks of the year.

With 7 minutes and 24 seconds left in overtime, Matt Prater put the nail in the coffin with a 52 yard field goal and the beginning of a Mardi Gras celebration in honor of our newest hero, Tim Tebow.

It may not be a peace cry, but the sounds of Te-bow, Te-bow, Te-bow could be heard long into the dark hours of the night. It was a time for celebration in Denver, in the NFL and throughout the country. Tim Tebow is a patriot, not in the tradition of the military, but a person we want to look up to and a role model we can believe in.

He makes us want to be a better person and shows the world that hard work, strong ethics and a good moral foundation can result in success and accomplishment.

In the shadow of Dan Wheldon’s tragic death last weekend, unemployment, poverty, the tragedy in Turkey and a general mood of despair, Tim Tebow, showed us in 7 minutes and 54 seconds that miracles do happen and for a brief moment, a hero would come out from the rubble, smile at us and tell us that everything will be alright.

The faithful Miami Dolphin fans aside, Tim Tebow, we needed you to bring a little heroism into our lives.


Life is funny…Embrace it

“I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.”

- Unknown

In the tradition of excellence in humor, last evening could be described as a thought provoking erotic sitcom build around an entire cast of supporting actors with the single goal of embracing every element of life and performing a show led by the ringmaster himself.

It was an night of doppelgangers, lesbians, strippers, strangers, kissing, laughing and a bit of warmth created in a land penned by Lewis Carroll.

It was one of those evenings after a bit of E Entertainment news you wish you could have lived. The glamorous life of a celebrity with all the perks, attention and outrageous events transpiring right before your eyes as the center of life and for just a moment it becomes you. This was one of those nights.

Now we will archive it away and move on to many more subjects of wonder and intrigue as we dig into Pandora’s box of life’s many great wonders and humorous anecdotes.

I was recently talking to a friend who had an ex boyfriend who was just focused on image that he would buy an expensive pair of designer jeans and then sand them down personally to fit the exact specs of an ad on page 57 of GQ that month. It made me think that he may be the same person I saw at the mall stopping at every mirror and making the proper adjustments. Coming from a jeans and tee-shirt man, maybe my thoughts on fashion are flawed. Of course I believe a good look is important as it represents a strong sense of responsibility, creativity, and a savvy sense of fashion.

There was a zombie crawl downtown. It is that time of the year when teens and adults raid thrift shops and purchase tacky dresses and suits only to cover them in fake blood and guts. At least, let’s hope they were fake. There are some that take the season of ghosts and goblins very seriously. Everywhere I turned, I smiled at the sea of dead walking, limping and later in the evening crawling along the streets. Funny how some people put more effort into the appearance of being dead than actually living.

Children are totally funny. On a crazy mad cap Saturday night, I watched Gnomeo and Juliet with a good friend and her two children. The same two children that showed me their favorite stuffed animals and then began to repeatedly hit me in the head with them, over and over and over again. But in the end I got to wear the pink blanket cape. Then randomly, during a tense scene, they would leave their couch, run over, jump on me and then snuggle up. Don’t you wish adults could just be that way.

Buffets are funny. They are cheap, they offer tremendous selection and give the customer the freedom to decide. But, we have an obesity issue, health care costs are rising and many individuals have difficulty with will power. A little bit funny, wouldn’t you say.

The new IPhone 4S cost 169.71 according to a report released this week in the Wall Street Journal. The cost was broken down into components, parts and labor. Labor: $8. Priceless.

Every Saturday and Sunday there is a ritual during football season, drink, drink, eat food with lots of dips and then drink. Multi-million dollar athletes that work out, maintain a strict diet and the pulverize each other each week fill the airwaves. That is 2100 athletes in the NFL and about 8000 in college. While 10,000 fit athletes give their heart and soul, over 100 million sit on about butts and fall into a pit of laziness and obesity.

It’s life funny.

I feel like I just had an Andy Rooney moment.


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