This is not intended for the passive Facebook user or the professional user. This article is about the rarest of Facebook breeds. The ones hidden deep in the trenches of locked up bedrooms covered in music posters and pink polka dots and basements with hundreds of thousands of mint condition comics. Yes, the truest of Facebook users, the Facebook Addict!

The most refined addict is very much aware of their actions and behaviors but there are some of us that are sub-consciously brainwashed by the ultimate social network that we don’t even realize we have hit that status.

Time to wake up, smell the pokes, the uploads, the status updates, the friend lists, the stalking and the narcissistic real time comment responses and see what is right in front of you.

A Facebook addict generally has one main weapon, the smartphone. With its ability to be mobile, take instant pictures and video and upload faster than a speeding bullet, this tool is the weapon of choice. Whether it is an IPhone, Droid or…wait are there any others, is a personal preference.

We all know the Dark Knight has an IPhone.

We are all envious of celebrities. We look to the tabloids, fashion and entertainment magazines, paparazzi shots and flock to download the music or see movies. We all want the “Rock Star” lifestyle. Now we can have it.

The number one reason Facebook can take a John/Jane Doe and make them a Justin Bieber or Adele is “Instant Celebrity Status”. If you go to a blowout party, hike a mountain, finish a marathon or come up with a life changing affirmation, you can now provide the details through a choice of media solutions (video, picture, words) instantly to your profile so all your friends and acquaintances can live vicariously through you. If you are sitting at home one evening and you see what all your friends are doing on the social circuit, there is a little bit of jealously running through those veins. We are now celebrities with just a simple click.

Frequency of check ins enhances our celebrity status by showing your circle of social life what a public butterfly you can be.

Comments are the key. What is the point of a status update if no one acknowledges it. We want everyone to comment. Even if it is only a virtual friend whom you have never spoken to. They count. They ramp up your popularity numbers. Look at Klout! Does anyone know what it all means? No, but we still strive to increase our Klout score.

Unlike real celebrities, we are in control of our image. There are no paparazzi around but we do have to keep our eyes open for wandering smartphones who could capture our image at the blink of an eye. If we take a shot that does not get approved by the board of “You”, it can be deleted for a better shot.

You have the ability to set marketing trends. When you try on outfits or buy a new car, ask your friends what they think. Planting these images in their heads will sent subliminal messages and give you the unspoken credit for marketing/promotion.

We are moving toward making therapists extinct, except for Los Angeles. It is just plain trendy out there. If we get dumped or suffer from the loss of a loved one, we pour our emotions out. People flock to provide advice and sympathy. Though not professional, it is the multitude of comments that helps us feel a little better about our situations. Those many profiles of deceased are kept open as memorials so that we can continue to reach out as if they are still beside us in their earthly state.

The most important thing to look for in a Facebook Addict is instant gratification. How quickly do they partake in an activity or event and get that shots/video up on Facebook? Is it a few weeks, a few days, or a few minutes? The quicker the upload, the more critical the addiction status. They also expect the comments to come flying in rather quickly as well.

We all want to be liked. We all want to feel loved and wanted. We all want the appreciation of feeling like a celebrity.

Facebook may have began as a site to rate the looks of students, but has created a culture shifting from 15 minutes of fame to instant celebrity status.

So to all the Facebook addicts, get out there and embrace life. Live it to the fullest but make sure you document every second. It is not enough to scale the Grand Canyon or surf Maui anymore. We are all a part of the Truman Show.

Lights, camera, action.