Does The Bachelor set romantic expectations too high?

The romantic gesture of sending flowers to your significant others work or a picnic in the park under the warmth of the sun or dancing in the rain in the middle of the road are all exceedingly beautiful actions to demonstrate the all encompassing aura of love. They are the truest of selfless acts that shows ones unconditional commitment to another.

But, when millions of women, watch Ben give a personal trolley ride through downtown San Francisco, scale the Golden Gate Bridge, have a national recording artist sing in City Hall or get kissed during a personal fireworks show, the bar gets set a little bit higher; almost to the point of unattainable.

The influence of the show has furthering affects on our environment. During a pivotal scene showing the conclusion of a date with Lindzi, he played piano to David Gray as they kissed the evening away. During my twenty minute drive home this fine night, I heard “Babylon” twice. hmmmm. Coincidence? I think not.

Fortunately, after the show has ended, the morning water cooler talk has subsided and the Facebook comments are settling in, we are back to reality…until next Monday when they horseback ride in Park City, Utah and whisk the night away with wine and hot tubs.

We as men do take solace in knowing the producers of the show do lend a bit of assistance as most common men cannot break into City Hall, reserve a city trolley and have a personal fireworks show over the San Francisco harbor, but the illusions remains.

So what do we do? Obviously, take comfort in knowing we are in bed with the one we adore and she cannot walk through the television and into the world of reality shows. For now at least. But, we still need to take notes and keep her on her toes. The Bachelor should not be our only point of research. Though most men hate to admit it, we do browse through Cosmopolitan and Vogue to help us with the ultimate dilemma, understanding women. This truly complex formula, more intricate than anything Galileo or Einstein ever theorized, is one that has baffled men from generation to generation. As hard as we try to impart our wisdom on the next generation, they too will fail as did we. We will continue to smile and celebrate with high fives the way men should when we gain even the smallest of victories.

Back to the topic at hand. Has The Bachelor set the bar too high for men to ever achieve the level of romance that women want? As a single opinion in the vast melting pot of relationships, I say yes. Our women may not say it out loud, but we know they are thinking it.

When they say “Honey, I adore you so much”, they are thinking “Why can’t he be more like the bachelor”
When they say “I love the little things you do”, they mean, “Why can’t you get off your ass and do something special for me”

Do we know how to read between the lines and just ignore it accepting we are the best we can be or do we truly not get it. Some do and some don’t. We have to keep some secrets to ourselves you know.

In the end, for two hours on Monday night, a fantasy world is created for 12 million plus women living vicariously through the 25 women who are fighting to extend their fifteen minutes of fame. Is The Bachelor really about romance? That is for you to decide America.

From the words of a writer and a poet, romance is a blessing. It is the true escape to a fantasy world where illusion becomes reality and the soul is drenched with the impulse of love. It captures our senses and warms the deepest corners of the heart. Love gives us the strength to find hope in despair and happiness in a sea of sadness. It is the most powerful force we can ever encounter and provides us with a reason to live.

Not everyone needs a reality show to see why we all desire even for a moment the ultimate feeling of love.

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