I want to wake up from this dream and live again.
The closer I get to the light, the more darkness fills my soul
I have been filling my days halfway between existence and this black hole of unanswered questions
Millions and billions lingering in the glimmer of the stars
Close enough to touch, but too far to feel
All I see is a window with my own reflection and a backdrop of white walls cut up by life’s cruel joke
Am I gone?
Am I hanging on to a purpose?
Have I passed the test?
Do I even belong?
All these questions screaming in my head, every night
I drown them in the pity of a clear glass of numbness
It helps with the pain
Each day a thousand years pass
Each moment, endless and still
I want to feel the blood dripping from my damaged wrists
Someday I hope this one prayer finds an ear and is returned with a blessing
I want to love this life again
I want to watch a clock tick and feel the sound of my heartbeat