I have been sleep walking all my life
In a trance; unable to determine day from night
Darkness from light
I can’t get this makeup off
A permanent smile masking a void soul
Darkness in my veins poisoning the light of my heart
A clown in a circus of fools
The laughter only disguises the salty tears of this crying jester
Each night a new crowd; a new town
Families locked hand in hand
Lovers with lips to kiss
A new set of faces eager to hold onto innocence one moment longer
With the final applause, the crowd seizes
Under the moonlight, empty seats stare at me
No friends, no home, no hope
The elephants provide comfort slowly crawling through life behind the wooden wagons
With their drooping eyes, they judge not
Without emotion, without prejudice
It’s not enough
With this big red nose I breathe a little slower
Hoping to freeze time and turn it around to the moment the glass shattered and it all went wrong
Without the cheers, I exist no more
Behind the makeup I remain disguised until I hear the final sound of a child’s laughter