Two score, seven months, three hours, forty-two minutes and sixteen seconds ago, two matzoh balls fell in love somewhere between Delancy Street and that pickle stand on the corner. These were no two ordinary matzoh balls you see; these two were very different. One was a strong military matzoh ball and the other, a working matzoh ball. Unlike others, their story is filled with magic and intrigue. It’s not like they met and dated because they lived near each other. Come on, this Jewish fairy tale has to be better than that. Throw in an Alan Ladd, Danny Kaye, and Johnny Mathis and you have yourself a regular epic.
To make a long story short or short story long, matzoh guy liked matzoh girl, but matzoh girls soup bowl was too far away so matzoh guy asked out matzoh girls friend whose bowl was on the same table as Matzoh guys. Are you still with me? Ok, good. Now there is the excited matzoh girl, her friends and both their parents, cousins, aunts, uncles and cousins twice removed….I think you know how far and deep Jewish guilt can go.
Let us just say they are now married.
Then there was the honeymoon and oh what a honeymoon. Thus came noodle number one. Noodle one was lonely in the soup bowl because there were no other noodles to play with so Mom and Dad Matzoh Ball decided to make another noodle. Now there are two very cultured and mature noodles playing in the hot water and did they know how to groove to the music.
A few years later, Mom and Dad Matzoh Ball got bored. Oops, looks like another noodle. One destined to a life of formal wear. This noodle was young and couldn’t understand the older noodles games so Mom and Dad Matzoh Ball felt it only right to have one more noodle in the bowl. Yet the bowl was a bit too small so they moved out of the New York bowl and found a new larger New Jersey bowl.
Forty years later and only four minor setbacks, Matzoh guy and Matzoh girl are still happily floating in the same soup bowl sharing the love, understanding and caring that have kept them together for all these wonderful years.
And now, on the cusp of this most wondrous occasion, the noodles would like to present them with a chance to relive their first, memorable honeymoon with a four day, three night trip to Niagara Falls. But please, no more noodles.