Quiet Conversations in My Head – Original Poem

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By Mark A. Leon

You bleed just to know you are alive
Cutting through the skin to expose the blacked blood poisoning the body
This disease so penetrating, so absolute
Charring the heart

Depression is the jester laughing at the crying souls
A pawn to the devil

Offering a little pill for the pain and a razor for the sensation
How many times can I feel before it goes away forever?

A landslide with no bottom
No more tears; no more fears; no more feeling

Whispers of quiet conversations in my head
Visions of your body discovering mine
Just a dream
A manifestation created with a single paid admission to the bottle

A toast to you
The parties, celebrations, milestones, lost loves
All but a memory
Fleeting in the wind of the impending storm
Wash it all away

Take this home
These letters
Suck in the love letters and rain a future of discord

“I love you”
“I miss you”
“I want you forever”
“xoxoxox”
“You and I”
“My rock, my inspiration”

Now the ink fades
What’s going on here?

Lying in this bathtub
Water rising
Too tired to swim

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This Ledge – Original Poem

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Between the lines of right and wrong I stand
Misguided by the principals of childhood written in crayon void of prejudice
A rainbow of acceptance
Running around the laughter
Chasing the ghosts of fear away in the arms of our mothers

Fantasy was our world of mystery, never to enter our fortress of reality

No death
Transference to another day
New and refreshed

On this ledge I stand now
Long way down
Only seconds stand between now and eternity
Weakness penetrates the knees
A shiver sends chills as I carelessly reach for the clouds

Voices below, faceless, nameless
They call to me
Sympathies from strangers
Perhaps it is redemption they seek
In their cries, forgiveness will be written on their eternal stones

To my left I see myself in the mirror as a boy
Proud and free
Hope was a halo above

Time passed
The fortress was broken
Pain penetrated

I fought off the darkness
Only looking to the light

On this ledge I stand
A decision
Selfish and righteous

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My path is easy

To my right, my present
Many faces, so few I recognize but I know them all
They will wake up tomorrow in this reality
They will feel
They will hurt living with this action acted out in my mind

On this ledge I stand
Sun setting, perhaps for one last time
Dusk takes over the sky

I look out to a world endless and undiscovered

I wait…
I hear my heartbeat