Training without Discipline will not defeat the Dark Side

“A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.” – Yoda

Pain it temporary.  it is a nerve impulse pulsating throughout your body to hold you back.  It is a mental exercise in the derivative movement toward failure.  We so often choose to give up instead of finding a path to success.  We have the heart.  We have the focus.  We have the determination.  But the spirit to learn and nurture one’s self is the failed journey so many of us follow.

That lack of heart is so often found in the corporate world.  In conference rooms to classrooms to online, training is viewed as this necessary evil….

  • “It is required that I take this training”
  • “It is the only way I will get promoted”
  • “I have learned everything I need for this job.  Why do I have to do more training?”
  • “I know more than the trainers.”
  • “I am too busy and just don’t have the time.”
  • “I already went to college, why do I need to sit through more training?”

How many of you have found yourself saying one or more of these phrases in your career?  Don’t be shy.  I think even I rattled off a few from time to time.

Have you ever wondered, what differentiates a top performer from an average performer?

Thirst!

The thirst for knowledge and improvement.

That is the separation point.

A true leader and adventurer in the workforce has the following attributes:

  • A constant thirst for knowledge and learning
  • A heart to see things through to completion
  • A yearning to share and help others be better
  • A passion for something
  • A never give up attitude
  • A sense of discovery
  • A detective mentality.  Hunt for the answers

Is that you?  You don’t have to answer that right now.  Perhaps you are very satisfied with that pay check every two weeks.  It provides food, shelter and an annual family vacation.  Throw in Netflix, college football and a few BBQ’s and you have a full life.  There is nothing wrong with that life path.  I commend you.

From the Edison’s to the Ford’s to the Job’s:  This planet was built by leaders who believed that failure was not an option and that training and education were the key to everything.

Leonardo da Vinci’s Flying Machine invention was published in 1499, 404 years before the Wright Brothers launched from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.  Between six generations, we never stopped learning and finding out how truth and application could become one.

As you make a passage through history, a common theme you will see among the great men and women who have etched a place for all eternity, is the thirst to learn.  Their constant pursuit of perfection through training and education were the foundation of their many successes.

As you look around the office and identify those that are true explorers of knowledge, learn from them.

Here is your homework:

  • Find out what your personal passions are.  Dig deep and truly understand what energizes you.
  • Seek perfection.  Never settle for what you know.  Find training that will keep you focused and driven.
  • Pursue your goals one step at a time.
  • Challenge yourself to want to know more.
  • Never stop growing as a person, a professional and a student of life.

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Have You Ever Had “THAT” Co-worker but never had the term to define them…Here we are with a new set of HR Terminology to Help

Provided by the Recruitment Network:

Each day we interact with various individuals whose unique behaviors and mannerisms make them a unique part of the corporate infrastructure. Let us take a few minutes to properly define these individuals so that you manage your workday more efficiently. For those that fall into one of these categories….You know who you are:

Key essential additions for the workplace vocabulary –

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s work place

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.

Human Resources Jargon – The real meanings!!! (How to Read Between the Lines in a Job Description)

Ever wonder what the terminology in a job description or the language of a recruiter really means???
Now all your mystery’s are solved:

COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you’re fired.

CAREER-MINDED:
We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:
Management won’t answer questions

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend

DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We’re not going to supply you with leads; there’s no base salary; you’ll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
If we’re in trouble, you’ll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Fun Things to Ask Your Human Resources Representative – You know you have been asked some of these questions

If you work for a decent-sized company, you’ve been forced to sit through a presentation by the Human Resources department reviewing your benefits. I guess they’re less liable if they can prove they’ve wasted an hour of your time reading from a company brochure. Here’s a list of questions to ask your HR representative during the presentation. Caution: for amusement only. Not liable for discontinued employment.

Will my health plan provide clean needles for my heroin habit?

If I die, do I have to show up at work to claim my life insurance money or will it be mailed to me?

A man injures his lower extremities with a cheese grater that has the company logo on it. Should he call an ambulance or the firm’s legal department first?

OK so I rent a car and contract an STD from a lady of the night — who’s health insurance pays for my treatment — Alamo’s, my own, or Candy’s pimp’s?

If I contract Ebola, can I work remotely?

If I feel emotionally scarred from listening to Puff Daddy records can I call the Employee Assistance Hotline? Can I reach you at that 1-800 number after hours?

What does 401K stand for?

If I run a 4 K 100 times in a year, will I qualify for a 401 K?

What if I eat 401 boxes of “Special K”?

(Stated loudly, whilst shaking head vigorously) Hmmmm… I don’t like the sound of “being vested”. Noooo sir-eee.

If I am adopted, is it me or my host family that gets the free paid vacation under the Family Medical Leave Act? If it’s me then I’d like to pick Hawaii, please.

If I am accidentally disabled at the dentist’s office whilst on paid personal sick leave on a religious holiday, what form do I need to fill out?

Metallica are rock gods. (insert air guitar gesture here) Can I take a religious holiday when they’re in town next Thursday?

Who is this “Certain Criterion” that I need to meet? Is she hot?

Will my pet hamster “Raggot” qualify as a dependant?

How about the voices in my head?

How about the little man who lives in my stomach?

“Well, THESE might qualify.” (reach into trousers)

Can a floating holiday be attributed to acid? What if I live on a house boat or rent “House Boat” the movie with Sophia Loren and Jimmy Stewart — can that be considered a floating holiday?

Do I have to work during the Apocalypse or Armageddon?

If I am unproductive because I have been reproductive, can I be compensated for the work I would have performed?

Can I get a personal paid absence for being a stunt man in “Mr. Holland’s Opus”?

If I am dismembered in a forest and no one is there to see or hear it, will I qualify for coverage?

Does the break up of Menudo qualify as a life changing event? How about Selena’s death?

Is “sleepy” considered a long or short-term disability?<

Can I put anything besides money into my 401K? Like German bearer bonds, gold bullion, or Krugerrands for example?

Can I use sick leave if I am sick of work? Or sick of my boss? Actually, I feel a little sick right now. May I be excused?

Do genital enlargement surgeries get coverage? (act disappointed upon hearing answer) Could you please explain why not?! (raise voice)

Is there any way to realize my resource allocation management potential whilst leveraging my leadership achievement matrix?

What happens if my Qualifying Domestic Partner has a Qualifying Life Event?

What if my Qualifying Domestic Partner (QDP) gives me a Short Term Disability (STD)?

How do I increase the size of my paycheck? Can I do this online?

And finally…

"Yes, uh, if I quit the firm, do I still get paid? Why not?"

The True Art of Recruitment – Humor or Truth… (A Monday Morning Laugh)

Recruitment – A True Classic

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St.Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in.” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind…I prefer to stay in Heaven”, said the woman.

“Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends – fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said.

The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her and smiled. “Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you’re staff.”

Survivor: Recruiterville

This season of Survivor promises the most dangerous, unpredictable, cut throat competition you have ever witnessed. The challenges will be more complex, the contestants will stop at nothing for ultimate victory and the reward; more lucrative than any past season. This year’s Survivor will walk away with unconditional job security.

Is the sanctity of life the value we place upon ourselves of those whose lives we affect? We are the bearers of the future lifestyle of each and every candidate we touch. Whether that is through a simple interaction or months of developing relationships. We are a gateway to the ends defining the means.

What is the reward? When is victory found? Some Human Resource philosophers will argue never. As Talent Acquisition Specialists, we are on an endless pursuit. One without a beginning nor an end. Is this continuous circle an invitation to insanity or a calming effect on the track of professional excellence?

As we look around at the ambitious contestants we see signs of anticipation, anxiety, confidence, fear, apprehension and adrenaline. This season, the island will be filled with hunters who will be hunted by their own self-conscious. Prepare for a season of thrills and chills that you will never forget.

Each contestant will begin with a Recruiters Survival Kit which will include the following items:

1) CRM Tool
2) Legal Toolkit
3) Measurement/Metric system
4) Industry News Links
5) Social Networking Tools
6) Cultural and Translation Tools – Global Acquisition
7) A Compass

Challenge #1

Acquire the highest quality talent while reduce operating costs.

Now that should eliminate half the pool of contestants

Challenge #2

Develop a pipeline of talent and build a community of relationships that will enhance future acquisition needs for the next several quarters and years

Challenge #3

Transition from a traditional process orientated office role to a virtual social media global environment

Challenge #4

Develop a series of unique and creative sourcing techniques that take you out of your bubble and provide you with an edge on the competition

Final Challenge

Revolutionize the world of Talent Acquisition. Dare to change the evolutionary scale and set a new standard.

The field is in place and the island of Recruiterville with all its inhabitants are eager to witness the beginning of the elimination process. Can you feel the energy on the island?

Now for the M Night twist: Look in the mirror and look around you…You are a contestant. Welcome to Survivor: Recruiterville.

Strap on your best bandana and cargo pants. This is going to be a bumping ride but what a fun one it will be.