Tired – Original Poem

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I’ve been tired for twelve years now
Since the last breath of the one that bore me

Tired of being alone
Tired of unanswered questions

Mentally worn

I can’t think anymore
A thousand screaming voices inside my head
Make it stop
Will the silence

All the conflict floating in guilt raging through my veins
My capacity for happiness has sunken into the depth of the ocean

Eternal silence is near
So soothing
The end of this journey

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A long road filled with thorns and stones
Cutting me deep leaving drops of blood behind
Food for the predators hiding in the darkness

I hear them linger; breathing deeply

On my knees; eyes closed

I wait…..

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Morning Break – Original Poem

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Hold me close, don’t let me go
You are the dancer sliding across the stage in my dreams
Swift as the wind, you glide through life with ease weaving through this tapestry of beautiful chaos

You are the music that awakens my feet and breaks the cement barrier holding me down
The day breaks me
The night even more

Freedom is a matter of principle to those that chose captivity
In this home, four walls define our next move

No way in; no way out
Apathetically, I wait
No hurry; no urge; no magic carpet to whisk me away

Hold me close, don’t let me go.
I’ve never touched you or felt your wet lips moisten this dry fleeting body

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It is in this dream you dance closer to me
I stand on the edge of the stage waiting for you to leap off into my arms
Outstretched still, they are empty

One step closer, two steps back
Retreating further away from my invitation

Forever and ever I stand
No barriers, no walls, no love

Hold me close, don’t let me go

I open my eyes, touch my cold soft sheets slightly warmed from the sun’s light and sigh

E.T. Text Home – The Times They Are A’ Changin

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Life has changed significantly in our lifetimes.

With technology bringing the infrastructure of the globe closer together, culturally, we seem to be showing signs of becoming more distant. Intimacy is numb, the ability to connect and share is lost and we are moving down the road of loneliness, alienation and depression.

How did we get to this point of being alone in the forest lost with no direction home?

I think it is time we look at some of the signs that human connection is a thing of the past. More importantly, will your neighbor be a robotic prototype in the near future?

  • You call a friend up on the phone.  They do not answer, but a few minutes later they text, “What’s up?”
  • You meet a girl/guy at a bar, become Facebook friends after a few minutes of talking and then never hang out again
  • You have a great interview and then send a quick email saying “Thanks” instead of writing a letter or card
  • You ask for an endorsement on a professional network even though you have never met or worked together
  • You meet online and instead of talking on the phone and getting to know each other, you set up a first date a week later and if the connection is not there, you just ignore it away instead of talking about the differences
  • You can’t get together with your friends unless it is a formal Facebook event
  • If you want to talk to your children in the next room, you have to text them
  • A dinner out among friends or a significant other is not complete until the mobile phone is placed right next to the fork and knife
  • Working from home is starting to replace working in an office
  • Team building is a Google hangout, not a picnic or outing
  • E-Cards are more common than greeting cards
  • A hand written letter is something you have to look up on Wikepedia to learn more about
  • Reality is sitting home watching a scripted show about other people’s lives
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  • A romantic night in is a candle app, music on the IPod and reading on the Kindle
  • An act of kindness, heroism or generosity is not complete unless it is a YouTube video
  • Saying “I love you” is more apt to make you run away than run closer
  • When was the last time you “touched” a picture?
  • We choose to check our email and Facebook in the morning before we pee
  • Our lives are measured by the amount of virtual friends and virtual  posts we get on our birthday
  • How often to we even check our mailbox anymore?

I am ashamed at what we are becoming.  I still believe in a hug, a great conversation, a letter in the mail and a long walk without the need to carry a phone.

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I believe our purpose in life is to make connections and share our lives with others.

Maybe I am the minority opinion in this debate, I am still going to continue to fight for the way it used to be.

No Mistakes – Original Poem

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There are no mistakes in love
It is a conscious choice surrounded by consequence and reaping with thorns in its path

We don’t need to be rescued or found just led in the direction of happiness

I stand alone but never lonely
Lying in the darkness illuminated by the whisper of candlelight, I see promise
Promise gift wrapped in hope

Regrets are created by those that have given up and manifested in song by the broken hearted
Love it a risk with the highest reward
Blessed with kindness and bled with pain

There are no mistakes
There are no bad decisions
There is no turning bad

We often forget the reality because we want to be trapped in the dream

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Another winter is upon us
Cold, wet and surrounded by a storm of thought
Deeper and deeper we slip into the bottom of the ocean
Fighting to breathe

At the final moment when the last breath is near a calm is found
It is the moment of pure enlightenment
A single second when balance is upon us and the future is clear

Are we missing the signs of depression on Facebook

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“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.” – Elizabeth Wurtzel

Depression is all around us. It does not discriminate by gender, age or lifestyle. In infects us and spreads like a cancer and takes over our lives. For some, the signs are very clear while others hide it very well through their actions or lack of actions. With the world being brought at our finger tips are we missing the clear signs of depression or choosing to turn a blind eye to them?

Facebook is populated by over one-sixth of the human population. It has bridged our worlds and put the idea of voyeurism and stalking into every day activities. There are so many common indicators of depression and so many of us need to be aware and take action to help.

After all, these are our “friends”.

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What are these signs that a person may be suffering from some level of depression?:

  • Aggressive use of language on the social networks (Facebook, Google+, Twitter)
  • Constant uploading of self portraits.  When someone is constantly putting up pictures of themselves or re-issuing their favorites looking for reinforcement of their “beauty”, that can be a clear indicator
  • Constant quotes about seeking a better place, a better life, a true utopia
  • Constantly checking in to reinforce to their circle how socially active they are
  • Posing a number of “what if” questions or commentary on society
  • Not having any pictures of yourself but friends and family only.  Perhaps a sign of hiding behind unfriendly aging
  • Showing many pictures of drinking or many check ins to bars
  • Late night random thoughts out of character
  • Adding many new friends often.  Needing to be surrounded by strangers and constant attention can be an indicator as well

This is just the tip of the iceberg.   We can list off another ten or fifteen behavioral indicators on Facebook that could be a silent scream for help.

How many of these have you seen?

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How often have you reached out to try and help or even ask if someone needed help?

I am going to lean on a small percentage that have taken on the task of question number two.

I have witnessed these signs and later learned of depression, rehab, loneliness, sadness and rejection from these same people.

Maybe Facebook is the great savior for avoidance of responsibility since it is a virtual tool or maybe we have a higher responsibility to help.

Next time you witness behavior that is unorthodox, it doesn’t hurt to ask and just maybe you might be saving a life.

Do you ever just feel tired?

Do you ever look in the mirror and question whose reflection you are seeing?
You haven’t aged more than a day but you look and feel much older than your years.

Sometimes life just beats you down so hard that it is difficult to mentally overcome all the obstacles being thrown your way. It has a way of spiraling you into a state of depression. One where it is easier to admit defeat than fight your way out of it.

For some it is illness, a damaged relationship, job loss, keeping a family together, a tragedy or a combination of things that piles up on your shoulders that you feel like a thousand pounds of weight bearing down on you.

It is in that moment of darkness that you realign your perceptions of life and begin to ask yourself some questions. How superficial was my life before? All the pet peeves I had were meaningless in respect to the suffering around us? What purpose and meaning do I serve in this life? It is these deep fetching questions that just compound the sense of despair.

Life is hard. I can quote until the cows come home the words of great literary writers and poets, but the words are nothing more than ink on paper. It is when the breaths become harder, the silences more deafening and the loneliness so isolated that reality really sets in.

What then?

You can sift through all your old photo albums and remember your childhood and how you had no responsibility, you were invincible and everything was simple and innocent but those are nothing but mere memories; reflections on past moments. The unknown is in front of you. If life is this hard now, will it get easier? The likelihood is not.

This by no means is a proclamation that suicide is an option or to run away to a remote island somewhere away from all communication. This is the life we lead. We think about our grandparents that went from not having phone or TV to all this. What a remarkable evolution. Maybe we can look back and say times were easier back in the day and now technology is corrupting us, but that is nothing more than a set of excuses.

I don’t know the answer. I don’t even one when you stop being tired. I don’t even have advise at this point on how to overcome. Many are fortunate to have family, friends, values and faith that guide them through what seems overwhelming. Some do not. Maybe clinging on to the few things that are consistent is the right start.

Whatever the answer is, we are listening. I guess in the end, whether you are friend, foe or stranger, if you can help someone, in a way you are helping yourself by given yourself a sense of purpose and achievement in making another life better, even for a moment.

I Broke Up with Facebook…And I’m doing ok

It has been almost two weeks since I broke up with Facebook.
I have not liked, shared, checked-in or uploaded anything and it feels quite refreshing.

How ironic, on the cusp of perhaps the biggest IPO in history that will make a few key individuals billionaires within minutes, I have chosen to break up.

This is by no means finite. I downloaded my file to a zip and I can re-activate at any time. Please don’t shed any tears.

Before we move forward, there are several key points that need to be made:

1. I do much of my professional duties in the Social Media space.
2. I manage a successful blog and chose to walk away from the biggest social network in the world and currently the #2 ranked website in the world (Alexa.com Ranking of Facebook)). Yet there has been no significant decrease in traffic.
3. Since deactivation which removes all comments, likes and administrator duties, only 4 of my 1075 even noticed
4. Without the ability to share every activity of my life with pictures, video and commentary, I do not feel any less valued by society.

Now back to the story.

A recent study came out indicating that Facebook is increasing levels of loneliness and narcissism in people. Duh! A need for instant affirmation is critical with status updates, pictures, videos, comments, likes and shares. For those that stay at home and scroll down on all their friends and contacts out and about doing fun and exciting things could create a sense of loneliness and lack of societal value. That just saved thousands of dollars and labor hours. I should do more of these studies.

Why now do we feel we need instant gratification for each and every move of our lives? Is it society that has always been this way and now we have a tool to feed on these actions or has this tool contributed to the evolution of a new way of life? Interesting coffee time discussion if you ask me.

Whether it is an IPad, laptop or mobile device, millions of people around the globe are creating their own small version of The Truman Show. We are all open for broadcast 24/7 whether anyone is watching or not. Who is our target audience? Is it our friends, our family or ourselves? Maybe in a way, we need to document the timeline of our life to validate its importance to ourselves. These visual journals may create the perception of a higher sense of worth.

Facebook has given us the tool to bring us to the highest levels of happiness and depression almost simultaneously.

Divorce, Stalking, Crime – Facebook Style

Has Facebook become the new face of divorce? Not necessarily marriage divorce alone but relationship divorce. How many relationships are not official until it says so on Facebook. How many break ups happen because your significant other was seen doing something inappropriate or became friends with an attractive person.

Transition into the new face of stalking? Oh stalking. Now you can check up on your friends, your significant other, a potential candidate, a potential vendor, contractors or anyone. Not only does your profile reveal so much but your pictures, likes, comments are all becoming more and more public. All of this allows us to create (in our minds) a picture of who we think you are. If I see you curse on a comment or show what I feel is an inappropriate picture, will I not hire you? If you believe in something I am against, will I not become friends with you? Hmmmm interesting.

Has anything thought through the idea of crime. Take for a moment to think about a family going to Orlando, Florida for a week. They send pictures from the road, laughing with Mickey, dancing at night and all is peachy in the world. Now that means there is a likelihood the house is vacant. Is it that hard to use the White Pages, find an address and burglarize the house? I think not.

Situation #2, take a jaded ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, old boss or criminal that you put away with your witness testimony. If you continue to check in everywhere you go, you take the mystery away from someone who is trying to hurt you to find you.

None of this is new.
Safety and security concerns has come under constant scrutiny on Facebook for years but it is not stopping millions from becoming part of this global domination community.

Facebook is more than a social network
It is more than a business model
It is more than a community sharing device.
It is shaping a world that is weak to cultural acceptance
We all want to belong and what better place than the biggest virtual network in the world.

When we look back 50 years from now and there are more humanoids than humans, this could have been the catalyst that started us on the road to disconnection. It could be the moment that changed the face of Earth.

I have often asked myself, when did things start to go wrong…2003

Now as I begin week three single from Facebook, I can say the following things:

1. I have not thought being on the site.
2. It is very refreshing not having your work, lifestyle and relationships under constant radar.
3. It has freed up more time to live.
4. It’s only a social network. There are many many many more including but not limited to: Our Bucket List, Pinterest,
LinkedIn, Twitter, Deviant Art, Live Journal and Google+,

Whether you stay on Facebook or not is a personal choice and this article is not meant to sway you either way. Just make sure at the end of the day, you are happy.